John Wayne Bobbitt's Frankenpenis

From: Joey Markham 
Subject: REVIEW: "John Wayne Bobbitt's Frankenpenis"
Date: Mon, 06 Apr 98 07:22:12
Organization: All USENET -- http://www.Supernews.com

JOHN WAYNE BOBBITT'S FRANKENPENIS
Leisure Time, 1996.

director: Umberto Lenzi
running time: 83 mins.

cast: Lori Wagner, Tabitha Stevens, Nyrubi Knight, Kia, Nena Cherry, John
Wayne Bobbitt; Ron Jeremy + others (all non-sex), with a special appearance by
Ice T.

scenes:
- Lori Wagner (mast.), John Wayne Bobbitt
- Nena Cherry, John Wayne Bobbitt
- Tabitha Stevens, Nyrubi Knight, Kia, John Wayne Bobbitt :
  Tabitha Stevens, John Wayne Bobbitt ; Nyrubi Knight, Kia

Only a company like Leisure Time Entertainment would sign Bobbitt up to do
porn.  Their first try, JWB "Uncut", was all hyped up for people to check out
what his penis looked like after the re-attachment.  Now, in John's second
time around doing X-rated movies, people can check out what it looks like
after the surgery he has to have it enlarged.  If I was the doctor who
performed it, I think I would have given Bobbitt a brain surgery instead.
What we see as a result of the operation is a penis so puffy it looks like it
could belong to the Marshmallow Man of 'Ghostbusters' fame.  John has truly
become a 'freak of nature' with that monstrous cock he now sports (there's a
big difference between calling it a 'monster' cock and a 'monstrous' cock)
that if LT is still releasing all that Raunch-O-Rama and Kink-O-Rama load-of-
crap, Bobbitt would be perfect for the part that they wouldn't need any
prosthetics.

Ron Jeremy (also acting as producer) is Dr.Frankenpenis.  Even though wesee
the actual doctor (a certain Dr. Melvin Rosenstein) who performs the
operation, Ron just threw himself into the mix 'because he can' (spotlight and
all, you know).  Speaking of the actual procedure of the penis enlargement,
you'd better have a strong stomach because we actually see some footage of
flesh ripped open and something being injected into the shaft (ooh yeah,very
erotic!  Gail Force was credited as caterer of this production.  I wonder if
Mila's wild antics was the only thing that sent her running away with
disgust.)  Beforehand, Melvin talks about how he wasn't sure if the surgery
would be do-able but after some research and consultation with John, things
went underway and voila - some cutting here, a little injecting there, some
sewing over here.. and John's right hand has a 'new & improved' best friend.

Once it's over, we see Melvin again and he says he's pleased with the results
and that it looks very good.  Looks very good?  Tsk, I think the good doctor's
been popping one too many pills behind closed doors.  If I were John, I'd sue!
(My goodness, if I were John... yikes!!)  But there are many references
throughout the video that a bigger penis would enhance one's social lifewith
the chicks, etc, so I guess Bobbitt just bought into it.

In the movie, John has a sex scene with Lori Wagner in his pre-op stage (well,
in this case.. a pre- second post-op: his re-attached, but not yet enlarged
dick).  Once they're done (i.e. after I woke up), we see Lori telling him that
he's a good lover and all but she needs a bigger cock.  "Ever think of penis
enlargement?" she asks.  He tells her he wouldn't feel comfy going 'under the
knife' again (ok, so I got a chuckle from that line).  But he thinks about it
and, obviously, goes ahead with it (also having consultations with a friend of
his who looks like country singer Vince Gill).  Hey, John.. if Lori toldyou
to go jump off a bridge, would you do it?  John?  John....?  *Splash!!* I
wouldn't be surprised.

Well, to look at the 'other side' of this whole situation, we do see John's
new dick only one month after the operation.. so that leaves room for more
swelling to go down later on.  Speaking of 'one month later', a nurse (Nena
Cherry) has been sent to John's place for a check-up and rehabilitation.
After he has a nightmare (Veronica Brazil - who played Lorena in "Uncut"- is
in a cameo role, wielding two large knives and laughing evilly about howshe
has a lot more to cut off now), John wakes up to find the nurse in his room.
She tells him they should go out for a walk and they do just that - yeah, they
walk over to a blanket on the grass and start making out!  They take it
indoors later on, for the explicit part of the action (the penetration).

Tabitha, Nyrubi, and Kia are out one night when Bobbitt casually walks by and
drops a blank check.  Tab picks it up, discovers it's from THE John Wayne
Bobbitt, and they all decide to pay him a surprise visit.  The next day,there
are some goofy guards outside of John's home, to fend off the press and
'groupies'.. etc, but the three ladies manage to sneak past them and approach
Bobbitt as he's laying out on the grass in the backyard, catching some rays.
They start outdoors but then take it indoors.

Right near the end of the video, mainstream rapper Ice T pays Dr.Frankenpenis
a visit.  He says he's got some coughing problems but the Doc says he doesn't
specialize in that; only in penis enlargement to make a guy's cock longer or
thicker.  Ice T says, "I like my dick the way it is."  "Are you sure?  It
could increase your social life!"  "My social life's ok, doc.." then he takes
off.  The doc stares at him running away and mumbles to himself, "Rappers.
They think they're so hung."  The movie ends with John stepping outside to go
for a jog.  He stops and tells us, "Oh, it's been a great day.  I think I'm
gonna make it bigger" (grabbing his crotch then jogging off).  Actually,the
movie ends with shots of John peeping up through a hole in some rock formation
and making faces.  (Perhaps he should just crawl back -under- that rock and
stay there?).

JWB is by far a 'decent' performer in the sack (what was Lorena's reasonfor
doing what she did again??).  The sex is all a great big wash, loaded with
tons of SLOW MOTION and lame music to boot.  All the women have implantsand
only Kia in my opinion looked cute (Kia, by the way, besides being the make-up
girl in this feature, only caresses John's body.  She doesn't kiss him or blow
him or screw him.)  Toothy-smiled Tabitha seemed very friendly with him;lots
of hand-holding and stuff.. not to mention being the only girl in the foursome
to get fucked (Nyrubi only blew him, and then later drifted off in a lez-dildo
bout with Kia).  Nena had on a brown wig and looked every bit the part of the
trashy nurse she was supposed to be (or was she?) and Lori seems like a
friendly enough lady but sports a pretty much tired-looking body and hair the
same style as 'Touched By An Angel's Della Reese (you know how Della hasthe
white hair on top and dark hair underneath?  Well, Lori has bleached blonde
strands on top with natural golden-blondish hair underneath - this style
doesn't look good on either one of them.)  As for the popshots, John cums on
Lori's butt in the first scene, Nena's belly in the second scene, and Tab's
belly in the third scene (for those wondering, the operation didn't seemto
increase or decrease JWB's cumshot quantity as far as I could tell - and
stomach).

CONCLUSION: Avoid like the plague.  This one's fit for the pit.  Spend your
leisure time doing something else other than watching this dreck.


Joey Markham ([email protected])
---------------------------------------------------------------------
    **  rec.arts.movies.erotica FAQ at http://www.rame.net/faq **