From [email protected] Sun Dec 18 19:40:24 EST 1994
Article: 42193 of alt.sex.movies
Message-ID: <[email protected]>
Newsgroups: alt.sex.movies
From: [email protected] (Jamal Dunbar)
X-Anonymously-To: alt.sex.movies
Organization: Anonymous contact service
Reply-To: [email protected]
Date: Sun, 18 Dec 1994 10:11:05 UTC
Subject: Review: Heinfeld
Lines: 69
Status: RO


# Heinfeld
c 32 1993 Pinnacle, Teri Diver
. Sahara Sands, T.T. Boy {cA}
. Flame, Mike Horner {c}
. Traci Prince, Chuck Martino {c}
. Tina Tyler, Leena
. Leena, Jon Morgan {cA}

Plot: Heinfeld and his friends have never had anal sex.  They make a bet
      to see who can do it first.

I'm not a regular viewer of Seinfeld (seems like every time I tune in
they're lost in a parking garage), but I've seen it enough to know that
this is a terrible parody.   There are a couple of decent fucks, however.

Jon Morgan is Heinfeld.  Not a very good impression.  Morgan does his
standard whiny voice.  His stand-up routines at the beginning and end are
not very funny.  Very low-brow stuff about vaginal odor, and anal sex.

Mike Horner is Reamer.  Not a very good impression.  Horner does his
standard creepy geek.

Leena is Elaine.  She doesn't even really try to impersonate Elaine,
which is probably a good.

There's another guy who does George, but he doesn't have any sex scenes so
I didn't bother crediting him.  He actually manages to get some of the
nuances of George right, and when he's in the scene it seems improve the
other actors delivery as well.  There are attempts at Seinfeld-like banter,
but very little of it works, maybe a line or two.

All the scenes include the use of a condom.  I assume that that's
Teri Diver's doing.

Scene 1: A Fan (Sahara Sands) comes back stage to do Heinfeld, but does 
         his manager (T.T. Boy by mistake thinking he's Heinfeld.  
         She takes it up the ass, which is how the subject anal sex
         comes up.  There was only one shot I really like.  Sahara is
         sitting on a make-up chair (stool) and T.T. is doing her
         missionary style.

Scene 2: Reamer (Horner) has a hot date (Flame!).  But she won't do anal.
         So he can't win the bet.  They do missionary and doggy, and he
         comes on her back.  Flame is by definiton hot, and it's a pretty
         decent scene.  Could have been better, but that goes for a lot
         of things.
         
Scene 3: George is applying for a job.  The executive who is doing the hiring
         is coming on to him, but he blows it when he brings up the subject
         of anal sex.  Instead the exec (Traci Prince) calls in her male
         secretary for a desk top fuck, mostly missionary.   An OK scene.
         I like Traci Prince.

Scene 4: Tina Tyler (looking foxy) teaches Leena about anal sex with
         a dildo.  As far as lesbian scenes go, I thought this one was
         pretty good.

Scene 5: Elaine lies about not having had anal sex (or maybe lesbian sex 
         doesn't count), and the friends agree to call off the bet.  After
         which Heinfeld and Elaine do the nasty.  Unfortunately, it's a
         pretty poor scene.  Only one good shot of Leena getting fucked in
         the missionary position.

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