From [email protected] Sat Mar 18 12:13:34 EST 1995 Article: 52612 of alt.sex.movies Message-ID: <[email protected]> Newsgroups: alt.sex.movies From: [email protected] X-Anonymously-To: alt.sex.movies Organization: Anonymous contact service Reply-To: [email protected] Date: Sat, 18 Mar 1995 14:19:58 UTC Subject: REVIEW: Anal Agony + more (LONG) Lines: 184 Status: RO Well, here goes another review (and a half -- I'll explain later). I was at loose ends (no pun intended) for a bit recently and rented several vids (two of which I've already posted reviews of), including "Anal Agony," a 1993 (or 94 depending on whether you believe the copyright notice on the tape label or on the video itself) Max Steiner produced/directed vehicle for Vanessa Chase. I was a little disappointed with this video for some reason. Perhaps it was because my expectations were rather high based on what I'd heard about it before seeing it or my recollection of other Max vids I'd seen. But, I digress. "Anal Agony" stars Vanessa Chase (pictured on the front of the box), Anna Malle, Sally Layd, Dave Hardman, Sean Michaels, and some guys who aren't mentioned in the credits but are in the video anyway. To start off, there are pictures on the box which are not in the video. That ALWAYS pisses me off. But, again, I digress. My apologies. On with the review. As the video opens, we see Vanessa, looking fetching, and Dave. Vanessa is shown leading Dave to her apartment. The conversation is intended to show that she is a school teacher or librarian or something, which is reinforced by her clothing and the glasses (those were a nice touch, and she keeps them on through the whole video if I remember correctly). At any rate, we cut to Vanessa sucking cock. She does not do deep throat here, but gives a good performance anyway. Dave is a nice looking guy, but he should forget about trying to do an impression of Max, he just ends up sounding like Randy West. Next, Dave licks Vanessa's pussy, and boy is this a wet scene (literally--he drools all over her cunt; very messy, but yummy looking, I thought). She's really seeming to get into it (I like the sound of Vanessa's voice when she's having sex), and then Dave proceeds to try and put a half erect cock in her pussy. After a bit of soaking in her honey pot, we cut to a scene of him REALLY pounding her. He tells her that what she really needs is a cock in her ass, and proceeds to put it there. Vanessa complains that it hurts (several times), but gets a good butt reaming anyway, including some reverse cowgirl. At last, Dave is pounding her butt doggie style and she announces that she's "real close" to cumming. This is Dave's cue to pull out and jerk off in her open mouth (she's frowning and holding her mouth open for his cum anyway -- very hard to buy) and all over her face (and glasses; a cute touch). She's obviously pissed because she was "so close to cumming" but didn't make it. A little humor is added here, as Dave looks down at her and says "well, I got what I came for, so I'll be leaving now" (or something like that). Next scene is Vanessa in (ostensibly) her therapist's office. The doctor is played by Ms. Layd, a rather husky looking blond whom I've never seen before. She's trying to help Vanessa with her orgasm (or lack thereof) problem. She suggests that Vanessa needs to take some risks, and proceeds to bang her with a strap-on (a BIG strap-on) fore and aft. Lots of nipple pulling here. Vanessa seems to be having a good time, but eventually, Sally tires out and apologiezes for not making Vanessa cum. Cut to, Vanessa and Anna Malle by a pool. Anna tells Vanessa that she had the same problem, but it was solved by taking on two guys at once (which is a cue to cut to another scene, featuring Anna and a pair of studs). (perhaps they could have borrowed the "swish pan" effect from "The Man >From U.N.C.L.E." for this transition) Anna is sunning her sexy self in the woods when two hunters happen upon her and proceed to have their way with her. She is quickly subdued and then begins hungrily devouring the two cocks. She gets sucked and fucked and then the guy with the bigger of the two dicks starts putting it in her ass. She protests that she hasn't done that before (I laughed out loud on that line, it was so unconvincing), and then takes it like a trooper (yes, yes, it rhymes with pooper), eventually ending up laying down from a reverse cowgirl into a DP (she begs for a cock in her pussy) which is rather vigorous. Inevitably, we cut to the two guys unloading on her face and in her mouth (why was I NOT surprised when she blew bubbles with the jiz?). The only onther performance of Anna Malle that I have seen is GangBang Girls #14. Anal Agony pales by comparison. O.K., now we have the next scene, back in the Doctor's office, as Sean Michaels (who is apparently Vanessa's Ex) is getting briefed on Vanessa's problem (for some odd reason I didn't wonder about doctor/patient confidentiality here). Sally explains some of what happened on Vanessa's last visit and then proceeds to have a royal suck and fuck session with Sean, taking his entire length in her ass (yeah, he REALLY slams her butt, and even without looping it was a fairly long session) and then getting his load in her mouth and on her face. Last scene. I got my hopes up when Sean is shown driving up to Vanessa's house (she's out back grading papers or something). But, instead, we see two "prowlers" sneak up on Vanessa and then ravish her. The whole vid has been a buildup to this point, and we know that when these two guys finally DP her, she's going to get her rocks off. Ho-hum. Can you say "predictable"? Oh, yeah, they both cum on her face. Surprise. Oh, yeah, again, she screams out an apparent orgasm as she's getting it in the pussy and ass (I almost forgot that part). You know how those Perkins adds make all their food look so great, you just can't wait to get there and have some, and then you do and it's so boring you can't believe it? Well, that's kind of how I felt after watching this. Are Max's other directorial efforts like this? Here's my laundry list of criticisms: 1. Too predictable. I can't explain this, but in Max's other vids (the ones he stars in) even though I know pretty much all the things he's going to do, it still seems somewhat spontaneous. This video was anything but (yes, that's one "t" not two). 2. Poorly edited. This was supposed to be a profesional video. Looked more like Mr. Peepers or some other amateur vid, only without the spontenaiety which sometimes makes them more exciting. 3. Unimaginative. Every scene follows, almost, the same pattern. On the other hand, Vanessa has a body which is always worth a look, as does Anna Malle (even with the obviously fake tits). Sally Layd is what we used to call "well upolstered" but isn't hard to look at either. The butt slammin' she takes from Sean is memorable. All in all, I'd give it a 2.5 out of 5, but I wouldn't buy it. Finally, a few words about another Max Hardcore vid I saw recently (well, actually it was about a month ago). I don't remember all the details, but thought I'd share what I COULD remember. This one had the word MAX in big letters on the front next to the number 3. Underneath that, it said something like "The Conquests of Max Hardcore." There were three scenes. All three were fairly hot. Don Fernando appears with Max in the second scene. The women are not named. Scene one features a tiny titted blond with a slight acne problem who appears to be 19, and that's what she tells Max in the video. Max is looking for her father, who we learn won't be home for an hour, so, of course, Max has to bang the blond to pass the time. This is a rather NASTY scene. The girl is sucking on a lolypop of some sort, shaped like a long, narrow, cone. When we get to the point where she is sucking Max's cock (more on that later) he has her fuck his ass with it (yes, penetration is achieved) and then put it back into her mouth. This happens several times. The blojobs in this and the third scene are the messiest I've ever seen. TONS of saliva, which Max has the women play with, blowing bubbles, dripping long strings of it onto their tits, etc. But, again, I digress (my apologies). Max fucks the blong babe on a pool table, eventually working his dick into her ass. Very serious Max Hardcore fucking here. Finally, he pulls out and has her suck him off (I think I recall that there was no edit here, for you ass to mouth fans), depositing a large load on her face and in her mouth. One of the problems with Max's vids is that he doesn't let them swallow the jiz. He always has them spit it out. What a waste. Scene two features a brunette I didn't recognize who starts out masturbating in the kitchen (this is very hot, btw), and is soon joined by her boyfriend, Don Fernando, who proceeds to give her the tongue lashing she deserves (man, does this guy like to eat pussy or what, but then, I'd almost rather eat pussy than fuck, so who am I to talk), followed by a vigorous deep pussy massage. You guessed it, Max joins them for a sex sandwich, with our hero going in the back door. And, yes, the two guys jerk off on her face (though it appears that Don lost his load early), and Max provides a nice facial. Finally, the vid concludes with Max and a dark haired Italian (apparently -- she DID have a cute Italian accent) beauty. Mmmm-mmmm, she looked pretty tasty to me. This scene has the most saliva of all, and Max makes excellent use of it. It's all over her face, her tits, his balls, EVERYWHERE. He uses it as lube for a great titty fuck (don't see those very often any more), which she really seems to get off on. The rest of the sex is also excellent, and the girl is VERY hot. Yes, we see Max pull out of her ass and put it in her mouth as I recall. Messy oral orgasm, as usual. Comparing this to Anal Agony, I'd say it was much hotter (at least the first and last scenes were). Well, I've droned on long enough. Hope these reviews aren't too long, or boring. Feel free to write to me about your favorite Max video (or any other asm related topic). I enjoy e-mail. Wyvern ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- To find out more about the anon service, send mail to [email protected]. If you reply to this message, your message WILL be *automatically* anonymized and you are allocated an anon id. Read the help file to prevent this. 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