From [email protected] Sun Mar 19 10:36:00 EST 1995
Article: 52747 of alt.sex.movies
From: [email protected] (George Shaffer)
Newsgroups: alt.sex.movies
Subject: The Opening of Misty Beethoven (review)
Date: 19 Mar 1995 15:20:33 GMT
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The Opening of Misty Beethoven is mentioned from time to time in
a.s.m.  Recently someone said they had just seen it and were quite
disappointed because they had seen a cut version.  I suspect that
Misty is so tame by today's standards that the viewer assumed that
it must have been cut.  I saw Misty in a theater (twice) when it was
released in the mid 70's.  About 1985 I got an uncut video that runs
86 minutes.  Misty was directed by Henry Paris and starred Constance
Money, Jamie Gillis, Jacqueline Beudant.  Terri Hal, Ras King,
Gloria Leonard and several other names were listed in the credits.

The Opening of Misty Beethoven is clearly an adult movie but it is
distinctly different and it was just as different when it came out. 
It may be the only adult movie where the story is more important
than the sex.  It was a big budget movie with many scenes in quite
a variety of locations and with many extras.  There is some genuine
humor in the dialogue.  The acting is as good as it gets in an adult
movie.

Jamie Gillis is a sex doctor/author who finds Constance Money in a
Paris theater.  She is low class hooker who says "Listen, I do a
straight fuck, I don't take it the mouth, I don't take in the ass." 
J.G. describes her as the "absolute nadir of passion, the most
unexciting thing God has ever created, a sexual civil service
worker."  The story is about the challenge of turning C.M. into an
erotic sensation so she can become the next "Goldenrod Girl".  

There are only four sex scenes that are five minutes or longer but
there are dozens of short vignettes, mostly blowjobs (with some very
mild facials) and pussy licking but also some novelties.  In one, an
airline stewardess raises her skirt to expose her bare ass.  A male
passenger inserts an aluminum cigar tube into her ass and the
stewardess then walks away.  The passenger's companion asks why he
did that and he responds to smuggle a cigar past customs.  The
companion says that's not illegal and the passenger replies "but she
doesn't know that."  Misty has many surprising little twists.

Most of Misty's training takes place at an ultra-modern New York
apartment and a lavish French chateau.  In both locations there are
numerous shots of servants engaging in a variety of sexual
activities and servicing their employers.  These sexual vignettes
are not the focus of the scene but simply background.  Frequently
while Jamie rambles on about various sex related topics, a female
servant is sucking his dick.  In most of these shots the
participants are largely or fully clothed with only a fly unzipped
or a skirt pulled up.

The first extended sex scene with nudity is almost halfway into
Misty.  It starts with a brunette fondling then eating Jacqueline
Beudant's pussy while Jamie watches as servants give him a blowjob. 
This is followed by brunette sucking then fucking Jamie (both naked)
in several positions including RC.  There is no question that there
is penetration but between the lighting, poor angles (except RC) and
pubic hair you really don't see much.  The scene ends with Jamie
cumming on the brunette's belly.  This is part of Misty's training
and there is a good bit of sexy talk.

In the next scene Misty puts her lesson to use when she seduces a
gay male art gallery owner when they are trapped in his gallery
after the lights turned off.  There is a fair amount of foreplay and
then Misty blows and fucks the gallery owner.  She is cowgirl and
this the first clear, properly lit penetration shot.  He is wearing
an open robe but she never removes her sweater.  He cums on is own
belly.

Following this and other of Misty's triumphs, there are captured
"man on the street" conversations suggesting that Misty is the talk
of the town.  These are typically mixed with more training scenes.

The next major scene is at a party and is a three way with 
Constance, Gloria Leonard and Ras King (?).  Gloria licks C.M.s cunt
and then they switch.  Both are fully clothed with only raised
skirts.  R.K. joins in and all get naked in a tumble of body parts. 
C.M. puts on a dildo in a harness and then while G.L. blows R.K.,
C.M. lubes his ass.  Then C.M. mounts R.K. from behind while he
screws G.L. who is now on her back.  The dildo penetration is shown
but the angle is poor.  There are no cum shots of any kind in this
scene.  Following this there is a very brief four way with J.G.,
J.B. and others with no detail shown.

In the final sex scene of any duration, J.G. in on top of C.M. and
there is the fourth (first was brief in an early scene) and final
penetration shot (from a so-so angle).  C.M. sits up and they
continue face to face and there are more poorly lit close ups and
confused body part shots.  J.G. eats C.M. and sucks her nipples.  At
the end of the scene, cum drips off the screen and only the crew
knows where it landed.

Do I recommend this movie?  Definitely not if you want lots of hot
sex.  I had not seen if for several years and did not get aroused
watching it this time.  There really isn't much more sex than I have
described.  On the other hand there is enough story and humor and
the acting is good enough you may be able to convince yourself or
someone else that you are watching this for other than the sake of
watching sex.  This may be a useful transition movie.  If your
partner isn't ready to watch sex for sex's sake this may help get 
them there and the scenes with Misty overcoming her aversion to 
oral sex may also be useful.  The Opening of Misty Beethoven ran 
continuously for more than a year at the movie theater where I saw 
it so it obviously had an appeal that no other adult movie of its 
time (or since?) could match but its not the appeal of raw sex.