From alt.sex.movies Fri Jun 25 06:57:59 1993
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From: [email protected] (Kurage)
Newsgroups: alt.sex.movies
Subject: Review of "Anal Europe 3 : The Museum of Living Art"
Followup-To: alt.sex.movies
Date: Wed, 23 Jun 93 02:21:19 GMT
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Movie: Anal Europe 3 : The Museum of Living Art
Status: RO
~From: Las Vegas Video Entertainment, 1993
Cast: Tabitha Cash, Beatrice Valle, Flame, Ophelia Tozzy, Berlin,
Mike Horner, Randy West, Steve Drake, Stephan, Cal Jammer
[If you can help me identify any of these eurosluts from the
descriptions below, I would appreciate it.]
Plot (Such as it is) : Flame and Mike Horner sit on a couch, talking
about a French Art Exhibit that he wants to go to. As Mike reads
through the pamphlet on the Exhibit, they imagine what each
exhibit would be like.
This movie is billed as an all anal movie, but if you rent/buy it
expecting Flame to take it up the hershey highway, forget it. She asks
for it in the ass (twice), but Mike never gives it to her. I found this
rather disappointing. I also found the attempts to be artsy rather
annoying. The repeating of scenes with posterization (I think that's
what its called. It's reducing the number of available colors, so the
image looks like a contour map [i.e., like shit.]), superimposed images,
and stop frame action, along with the use of dubbed (inappropriately)
sound during the artsy phases, really bugged me. They were mixed in all
over, so you couldn't just fast forward through the crap. Well, enough
of the gripes, lets get on with the review.
Scene I: Flame, wearing a tight black dress, and a black beret, sits on
the couch talking on the phone. Mike Horner walks in wearing
black pants, and a black beret, and starts over acting, going on
about this museum exhibit he really wants to see. Flame tells
him they don't have enough money, and can't go. [Flame should
not be forced to read lines. She's really cute, and hot, but
she can't deliver lines.] Mike reads out of the pamphlet he has
about the first exhibit. Scene Fades...
Exhibit 1: Savior of Liberty.
Steve Drake and a Dark Haired Woman. [Sorry, I don't know the
actresses names. This one has round tits and full lips. She
has round tits and is a little plump. My guess would be Berlin,
but this is just a shot in the dark.]
The woman is dressed sort of like the statue of liberty, and is
lying on her back on a reclining couch. They start kissing, he
sucks her tits and fingers her pussy, then sinks down and licks
her beaver. He finger fucks her with 2 fingers while licking
her.
She's on her knees, sucking his cock as he stands beside the
couch. She is fairly enthusiastic, and gets 3-4" inches of his
meat in her mouth.
She lies on her back on the couch, and he licks her pussy
again, then mounts her and fucks her pretty hard. They switch
to doggy style fucking. Switch to lying on her right side, with her
left leg up as he fucks her. This is shown only in close up.
Back to doggy style, medium hard fucking (Close-up only). He
pulls out, then eases it into her ass. He fucks her fast,
pumping 3-4" of meat in and out of her ass (Again, close-up
only). Then he pulls out and cums on her ass.
Scene II: Back to Flame and Mike on the couch. More babble and bad
acting, talking about wanting to go to the exhibit. Mike starts
to describe the second exhibit. Scene Fades...
Exhibit 2: Bedroom Eyes.
Stephan (a German guy with a big dick) and a woman with dark
hair down to about her mid back. She has fairly small, round
(and real) tits. She has a mole above the her lip on the right
side. She's wearing a red, half-cup bra, red panties, a red
garter belt, black stockings and black pumps. She is rather
exotic looking.
She's sitting on the edge of the bed, and he stands in front of
her bent over kissing her, then starts sucking her tits. She
lies back on the bed pulling him on top of her. He licks down
her to between her legs and starts to eat her out.
She sits up and he stands by the bed, and she sucks his cock.
This is mainly licking and wanking on her part, since she
doesn't get more than 1-2" in her mouth.
She lies on her back, and he fucks her twat over the edge of the
bed. It looks like a really tight fit.
He lies on his back, and she climbs on top, facing away from
him, towards the camera. Nice view of his thick cock poking her
neatly trimmed snatch.
Doggy style for a short while, then her pulls out and eases it
into her ass. She slowly pumps herself pack into his cock.
After a short while, he pulls out and cums on her back.
Scene III: Back to Flame and Mike. More of the same inane banter.
Scene fades as Mike starts to describe the next exhibit....
Exhibit 3:Law of the Jungle.
Again, I apologize, since I can't identify this European Poon.
She is a dark haired brunette with shoulder length hair, and C-D
sized, extra firm tits (Fake). She has a tattoo high on her
left buttocks, and a small mole over her left lip. She is
wearing a Leopard Spotted skirt, and a bone necklace. Cal
Jammer provides the meat in this scene.
The scene starts out with her sitting on a chair, and him
sucking her tits, then he sinks down to lick her well trimmed
cunt. She lies back and sucks his cock as he stands beside her.
She licks his balls and rolls over and starts sucking about 3-4
inches of Cal's meat into her mouth. She rolls over onto all
fours, and her gets behind her and licks her pussy and asshole.
He lies on his back on the chair, and she sucks his cock while on
her knees at his side. She then mounts him, facing away from
him, towards the camera. She pumps herself on his dork (medium
to hard fucking), and we get a nice view of the action.
They switch to doggy style. Mainly close-ups from behind. Lots
of slapping cheek noises.
Then suddenly he's in her asshole. We don't get to see it go
in. She is fingering her clit as he fucks her ass for about 30
seconds.
Then he's suddenly in her twat again, for about 10 seconds, then
he pulls out and cums on her ass.
[The editor of this movie should be taken out and hung by his
balls.]
Scene IV: Back to Mike and Flame. More banter, then he starts to suck
her nipples as she takes off her dress. He begins to lick her
pussy, and really gives her clit a tongue lashing. He also
finger fucks her with 1 finger.
She sits up and he stands beside her, and she sucks on his cock
pretty enthusiastically (about 3-4" of meat). Very wet, with
lots of pre-cum.
She lies on her back, holding her legs back, and he fucks her
hard.
Switch to doggy style, and fucks her hard and deep. She says "I
want you to fuck me in the ass", and there is a slow down in the
action, showing close ups of her face, [This is supposed to make
you think he is putting it in hre ass] then they switch back to
Mike fucking her doggy style hard. He pulls out and cums on
her ass. We never see anal anal action in this scene.
Scene Fades...
Exhibit IV: (No title for this one) Some sort of Roman (or Greek)
Setting. Randy West wearing a roman toga, and another Euro-slut
with dark hair. This brunette has dark hair down to mid-back
length. She has big, puffy lips, a small mouth, round firm tits,
and a rose tattoo on her right tit.### TCash###
The scene starts with her feeding him grapes. They start
kissing, and she starts stroking him under his toga. She bends
over and starts licking his balls, then sucks 3-4" of his cock
into her mouth.
She lies on her right side, he licks her pussy. He then licks up
to her tits, then back down to her pussy.
Switch to doggy style, with nice close-ups as he fucks her hard.
He pulls out, then slowly plugs into her ass, and starts pumping
slow. He speeds up and fucks her deeper, then pulls out, and
cums on her ass.
Final Comments and Ratings:
Erotic Content: On a scale of 1-5, this on gets a 2. Most of the
sex scenes would have normally have rated about 3.5-4, but the
editing was so shitty, it really wrecked most of them.
Plot/Technical Aspects: Lighting and photography was excellent,
except for the "special effects". The plot was about nil, but
I really don't watch these for the plot.
Overall Rating: 1.5 out of 5. Don't waste you money on this one.
It could have been an excellent movie, but some moron was in
charge of the editing. I've seen several other movies where
they did the "posterization" to be artsy (when I first saw it,
I thought there was something wrong with the tape, now I'm sure
of it.), and it is a really stupid technique.
I hope this wasn't to dry and detailed!!
Kurage