From [email protected] Fri Jul 28 19:40:37 EDT 1995
Article: 72124 of alt.sex.movies
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Date: Fri, 28 Jul 1995 20:37:20 UTC
Subject: REVIEW: Lust Italian Style
Lines: 293
Status: RO
++2-- Lust Italian Style
1987, produced by Patti Rhodes, directed by FJ Lincoln.
Barbara Dare "Barbara"
John Leslie ("Frank"), Porsche Lynn ("Vicky"), Valerie St. Cloud
("Loisa"), Joey Silvera ("Mario"), Robert Malone ("Antonio"), Lisa
Bella ("Paulina"), Frank Jonathan, Christophe Clark ("Luigi"), Sharon
Mitchell ("Maria"), Marilyn Jess ("Loisa"), Rocky Siffreddy (sic).
John Leslie is all packed and ready to fly off to Italy because his great uncle
Franco has died. His girlfriend, Porsche Lynn, tries to convince him not to
go with some half-hearted stabs at seduction, but, after all, "it's Family,"
so it's also off to Italy, where at least some of this film was actually shot.
We cut to John talking with Joey Silvera, an unspecified relation and now
apparently head of the Family, in what is presumably Joey's house. John's
cousin, Valerie St. Cloud, is attempting to act like she is crying on the
couch. John and Joey talk a bit about Don Franco's death, and how all of the
Family remember John from when he was three. It seems John's father had a
falling out with the Family, and out of respect for him there has been no real
contact until now. Then Joey has to leave for a phone call, and John sits on
the couch next to Valerie to comfort her.
+2--- Valerie cries on John's shoulder briefly, and then begins fondling him.
John makes a vague attempt at putting her off since, after all, they
are cousins. Then they begin to feel each other up, and after a brief
pause to get naked there is a cut to some standard missionary sex,
completely skipping insertion. Valerie rubs herself while John moves
his hips up and down as if he only had a single degree of freedom.
There are mostly close shots of various body parts.
Then, Valerie puts her leg up on John's shoulder and we get a full body
shot, although it does not show penetration thanks to convenient legs.
This is followed by a full body shot from above Valerie's head which
is pretty nice.
I'm quite partial to full body shots from close to the woman's perspective,
particularly when I like the man involved. Unfortunately those rare times when
there is a perspective other than that of the fabled crotch monkeys who lurk
just beneath our genitals, it is generally a man's.... In any case, I tend to
overrate scenes that contain such shots. Luckily, John Leslie doesn't do a lot
for me, so I think I'm still spot-on with this scene. What is with his over-
greased hair, here? Is that supposed to make him Italian?
Cut to John sitting on the couch, Valerie on his lap facing him. This
is a long series of full body shots, and is alright. Then there is a
bit of doggie, and John pulls out and shoots a little on her ass.
Joey walks in, and immediately begins to chew Valerie out for being all over
his guest. Now, I rather like Joey as an actor, but his Italianesque stuff is
not all that exciting here. Valerie, on the other hand, spews some good
Italian...I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. John is awkward, thinking
that Joey is upset, but Joey just apologizes for Valerie's behavior. It seems
she is a nymphomaniac, and a lot of bother to everyone.
John and Joey go for a walk to visit a friend of Joey's, played by Robert
Malone. Outside of Robert's office John eyes Barbara Dare, a prostitute in a
fairly slinky tie-up-the-side blue dress. The three men go into Robert's office
where as a token of appreciation to Joey for helping him with his business,
Robert calls out the lingerie-clad Lisa Bella. John begs off though, and runs
outside to hit on Barbara.
++--- Joey and Lisa go over to the couch and kiss while Robert watches. Joey
strips and sits on the couch and Lisa briefly works him with her hand
and mouth. He takes off her lingerie and sucks on her tits, and then
she sucks him again, using mostly her hand with just the head of his
cock in her mouth.
I can't stand blowjobs like that! Why are so many porn actresses unwilling to
really use their mouths? Sigh. Well, I guess I should refrain from getting too
upset, since it is just a job for them...but really. On the up side, though,
Lisa has some nice, natural tits; small and perky. This is an all-natural tit
film.
Joey takes Lisa doggie style, with no insertion shot. Joey calls
Robert over and Lisa licks his dick and sucks his glans. Mostly tight
shots here, where you don't see a lot. Robert then grabs Lisa's head
and begins really feeding his cock into her cheek. Cuts flip back and
forth from tight rear-entry to tight oral shots, Robert seeming to go
a bit soft in a couple of cuts.
Cut to a genital shot of some reverse cowgirl on Joey, Robert standing
overhead with his cock in Lisa's mouth. Good full body shots here.
Then we cut to Lisa sitting on the couch, Robert in her mouth and Joey
in her hand. Both of the men are a bit soft here. Robert tries to
save himself by helping out a little with his own hand. Joey comes a
fair amount, mostly on the carpet. Shortly thereafter, with a few cuts,
Robert comes on Lisa's cheek and chin.
There was a bit too much autoerotic stimulation here for me to believe that
anyone was really into it, which limits my enjoyment quite a bit. Not that I
have anything against masturbation, mind you...it is just not the first thing
that comes to my mind when two (or more) people are really excited about each
other.
Anyway, while this has been going on John has run outside only to see Barbara
making off with Frank Jonathan. Like the good voyeur that he is, John follows
them back to Barbara's room, where the world's oldest transaction is about to
take place. So John, or "Frank", follows Frank, the john....
Frank coughs up 100,000 lire and Barbara peels off her blue dress, looking very
good except for her truly horrible makeup and some lines around her eyes. Frank
kisses her tits while she undresses him, pushes him back on the bed and begins.
++--- Barbara starts by beginning to suck a completely flacid Frank erect.
One of them doesn't do a very good job, and it takes Frank a while.
Cut to some 'lingus, Barbara standing against the wall. This is a
decent set of shots, Barbara actually reacting to her treatment. Her
thighs tremble and quake invitingly, although that is probably due to
the strain of her awkward position. Still, we can pretend. Frank
really buries his face in her muff, which is nice.
I enjoy a penis going from flaccid to bursting in a warm, welcoming mouth. It
doesn't usually take very long, either. But there are right ways to film this
and wrong ways to film this. It doesn't help that Frank doesn't really get
hard here, but the Barbara's technique makes the shot doubly poor. Basically,
she holds the tip of his cock between her lips when she pulls her head up,
stretching out his thin, underfed member so it looks like a pathetic strand of
taffy. No offense to Frank, but most men's cocks don't look so good under this
treatment...no offense to the rest of you men, either. I'm not fixated on size,
but this technique is going out of your way to may poor Frank look both under-
endowed and borderline impotent. Well, since I doubt Barbara reads this news
group I won't rave any longer, but I was disappointed. I normally only get to
see dicks on film cross the phase boundary between flaccid and hard going in
the other direction, so this scene had me excited momentarily, and then dropped
my expectations like a hot-oil enema.
Cut to reverse cowgirl on the bed, a nice full shots with Barbara's
quite nice tits prominent. Unfortunately, this is very brief. Then
there are some poor close doggie shots, and a long but poorly framed
full body with the bottoms of Barbara's breasts cropped off. Cut to
Frank, or possibly a stunt cock, coming on Barbara's ass. Poor lighting
makes the come look blue. Whoever owns that cock, it is barely hard
and not particularly enticing.
There are some post-orgasm simulated humps, and then Frank dresses to leave,
pocketing his lire on the way. Barbara yells at him a bit, and John, listening
at the door, bursts in. Frank decides to give the money back and exits.
Barbara thanks John, and it turns out she is not Italian, but from Ohio. They
go to dinner. There's an attempt at reparte, and they are supposed to hit it
off, but when they go back to her place John declines to stay. He leaves,
unfortunately giving Barbara time for one exceptionally cheesy line.
John gets back to Joey's house to find Porsche waiting for him in his room.
Surprise! There meeting is kind of awkward, and although Porsche would like a
little fuck John pleads massive tiredness and nothing happens.
At breakfast, Porsche is planning their day. Joey comes in and tells John they
have to go visit Don Luigi. Porsche and Joey are at cross-purposes over John,
and Porsche ends up bad-mouthing the Family. Joey gets upset, and John leaves
with him. On the way to the car, John thinks maybe he should go back, but Joey
assures him Valerie will take care of her. The get in the car and drive to the
marina.
They meet Don "Christophe" Luigi on his boat. The yummy Sharon Mitchell and
not-badly-put-together Marilyn Jess lurk in the cabin. Joey excuses himself,
as he has Family business elsewhere, and John and Christophe speak. John
confesses to Christophe that he loves Porsche, but he has just met Barbara....
Christophe seems amazed that he would be faithful to a woman he isn't married
to. He offers to share his cabin girls, but John declines and walks off,
having decided to stay with Porsche.
+++2- Cut to Sharon lying on a couch in the cabin sucking off Christophe,
while Marilyn tongues Sharon's tits and snatch. Facial shots only of
both oral activities. Sharon sits up and the two girls share some
cock.
Ah, the old days. Or the fairly recent old days, I guess. Marilyn has a
gorgeous natural snatch that has never been near a razor, and both girls are
delightfully real in all respects. How I love Sharon's nose! I even forgive
Marilyn for being a blonde.
Cut to Christophe sitting with both girls still working on his dick.
Marilyn likes to shake her head with the bone in her mouth, and Sharon
goes for the balls. While kneeling on either side of the poor guy,
the girls begin to fight a little over who gets what part of the cock.
They end up laughing and taunting each other with it, while Christophe
lies there. A different man and this could have been volcanic.
Cut to missionary with Sharon, Marilyn behind Christophe helping him
move his hips. Nice full body with Sharon's legs in the air. Marilyn
goes around to Sharon's side and fingers herself while sucking on
Sharon's boobs.
Cut to Christophe entering Marilyn, who is lying on her back on the
coffee table. Sharon has her snatch positioned over Marilyn's mouth,
but Marilyn is too distracted to make good use of it. Christophe pops
himself out of Marilyn and then back in, and then lifts her ass up in
the air and pumps. Marilyn twists around and moans while Sharon plays
with her snatch. Then Christophe pulls out, and Sharon sucks him a bit.
Christophe jacks off while Sharon licks Marilyn, and then comes a tiny
bit on Marilyn's snatch before reinserting.
Next we see Porsche lounging around the garden behind Joey's house, lamenting
John's absence. Valerie sits with her, and Porsche complains that John has
changed and asks her if it could be another woman. Valerie begins touching
her, and Porsche asks her if she is a lesbian. Valerie says no, and Porsche
is relieved, because she isn't a lesbian either.
+---- There is some mutual kissing in lingerie, and then Valerie muff dives.
Mostly tongue tip and hand rubbing, with some full shots, but the
action obscuered by Valerie's head. Then they 69 with Porsche on top
and some moderately long shots. The sound is weak, drowned out by
the background music, presumably because this was shot outside.
Cut to some crotch grinding, and then Porsche goes down. This is nice,
Porsche using her full mouth. Unfortunately, this is very short. Then
we cut to Porsche sitting on the back of the bench, Valerie licking and
rubbing her. What a waste.
Cut to John and Porsche in bed. John wants to make up with some sex, but
Porsche doesnt. She tells him that she is a lesbian now. John informs her
that Valerie is a nymphomaniac, and just because she enjoyed sex with a woman
doesn't make her a lesbian. Porsche asks if John fucked Valerie, and he doesn't
hem and haw enough...Porsche blows up at him and leaves, calling him an
adulterer. "We're not even married...." Some funny dialogue from Porsche.
So John runs off to Barbara in his jammies. She lets him in, and they fall to
it immediately.
+++2- An immediate cut to spooning sex. Why, oh why, do they deny me my
rightful moaning, squirming full body insertion shots? Barbara is on
her side and John drills in from behind. Initially, almost all genital
shots. Then we cut to a nice full body reverse cowgirl. Barbara leans
back; Barbara leans forward. Multiple good angles on nice positions.
Then they roll over and John inserts from behind, with Barbara lying on
her stomach. Nice full body shot intercut with a stupid genital close-
up, mostly of John's balls.
Despite the weaknesses of this scene, I gave it a pretty high rating, and I
give you fair warning it is probably because of this position. It is one of my
favorites, and no it doesn't make me feel dominated or like I'm just being used
as a dick receptacle.
Cut to Barbara sucking John while he lies on his back. John then comes,
mostly on his own hand while holding his dick next to Barbara's cheek.
This is followed by something else I like to see; John stays hard and
Barbara gives him some nice sucking after the fact. Sweet.
Cut to Porsche in Rocco Siffredi's boat, telling him she wants to make sure
that she isn't a lesbian. Poor cofused Porsche. Rocco is all over her.
++2-- They undress each other, and Porsche sucks as much of Rocco as she can
manage. She stands up and he licks some nice vocals out of her. The
blowjob then continues in a nice side shot, and some tit-rubbing is
thrown in for good measure.
Cut to Porsche bent over, Rocco licking her from behind. Another one
of my favorite things.... Then a quick cut to doggie, with too many
genital shots and a bit too much screaming from Porsche. A nice camera
angle from beneath them livens things up a bit, but then Rocco has a
really pathetic come shot on Porsche's ass.
Porsche, meanwhile, is thinking of John. Cut to Porsche returning to John's
room at Joey's. John and Porsche reaffirm their love, and John slightly
proposes to her. Credits roll, and we are treated to more of the bouncy theme
song.
This film obviously cost more than the normal amount of change to make, and it
has some pretty good talent in it. They wrote their own theme song, and they
actually went to Italy. Not only that, but it has SEVEN genuine sex scenes,
many of a decent length. Unfortunately, most of the sex just didn't do it for
me. I'd like to like this movie more than I do, but it is spotty and if I see
it again, it will be with the fast-forward button close to my fingertips.
********************************************************************************
In my reviews, I use a scale with five points, though I will sometimes give out
half points as well just to be more confusing and to prove that I mastered
fractions in grade school. The more pluses the better, and a 2 represents a
half plus. I would say that a typical porn scene rates between two and three
pluses in my book. I fill in the remainder of the scale with minuses to give
you an indication of what the score was out of.
I rate the entire film, or compilation, or whatever I happen to be reviewing,
and I also try to rate each scene. Since some people might get bored with my
long-windedness, I try to separate out the pure sex commentary by indenting it.
Other text is likely to be plot-related, or my own personal opinions on whatever
the sex has brought to mind. Ideally, of course, that would be more sex...but
sadly I haven't found that to be the general case.
Corrections to any misidentifications or other errors I might make are welcome.
Please be gentle.
********************************************************************************
Solange Mitte sectari rosa quo locorum sera moretur.
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