From [email protected] Mon Jul 3 00:53:12 EDT 1995
Article: 67704 of alt.sex.movies
Message-ID: <[email protected]>
Path: netnews.upenn.edu!news.voicenet.com!news.sprintlink.net!EU.net!news.eunet.fi!anon.penet.fi
Newsgroups: alt.sex.movies
From: [email protected] (A. P. Ervert )
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Organization: Anonymous forwarding service
Reply-To: [email protected]
Date: Mon, 3 Jul 1995 03:50:20 UTC
Subject: [RAMBLE] Ervert Enveloped in Excessive Egregious Erotica
Lines: 113
Status: RO
Ervert Enveloped in Excessive Egregious Erotica
Or
Smuthead Squanders Sabbath (and Salary) in Squalid Salon Sampling
Sordid Sex Scenes
Or
Ervert Does Peeps, Part LIX
The few of you who follow my sporadic ramblings in the group will no
doubt be familiar with my predicament --- tremendous appetite for
filth, tremendous distance between my abode and the filth.
Rather than pay out a large fortune to purchase filty videos to
review, I decided today, when I found myself alone with a few spare
hours in a nearby city, to squander a smaller fortune and visit the
coin operated video preview booths of the local smuthaus. 59 separate
videos were available for my viewing pleasure, or something resembling
it. A cozy sofa in each booth. Well, ok, not a cozy sofa, more like
a cheap bench with a sort of soft foam&vinyl covering, but let's not
split hairs. All for only $5 for 45 minutes. It wasn't exactly a
"peep show", but it was hardly a theater. 19" TV and a little channel
changer/volume control built into the wall. Token slot next to the TV
screen. Box of tissues tastefully mounted by the couch. So I spent
about 3 hours watching some of the videos, and thank goodness there
were 59 to choose from, because I did need to give that pair of little
"program-change" buttons a good workout. *click* *click* *click*
This isn't going to be a review, by the way, but a cathartic little
belch after overindulging in cheesy porn.
Let me see, now. On the plate were such classics as The Kissing
Fields, Sodomania #?, Sodomania #??, The Gangbang Girl #15, Hotel
Sodom, and goddess knows what else. With 59 to choose from, they all
start to run together. I hadn't gone in with my standard smut-viewing
notebook, and most of it was crap anyway, so who cares?
Hmmm. On channel 1 we had The Kissing Fields, which, as I recall, had
Brittany O'Connell in it. Once, during a particularly rapid pass
through the lower 48 (49-59 were gay porn, and I wasn't in the mood
for that) I got to see a lovely scene of Ms. O'Connell with a large
phallus being repeatedly plunged into her nether ye in a most
delightful way. I was rather smitten with this little redhead when I
saw her 60 second double-dorking in New Wave Hookers 3, and to see her
posterior filled up again here was a rather pleasant experience. But
to be honest, Ms. O. doesn't seem to be a very, um, convincingly
enthusiastic performer, and that's a shame.
Over on 26, one of those Sodomanias had a verrrrrrry looooooooooong
scene with Bionca and Debbie Diamond which just looked a tad to gross
for me. Something to do with smearing greasy food of some sort on
genitalia. *click* *click* *click*
Here on channel 38 we have The Gangbang Girl #15. Now, this video has
been reviewed previously by someone else in this group, and this
article won't duplicate that effort too much. Nici Stirling puts in a
performance as the owner of a ranch/plantation/whatever who gives her
10 ranch hands a little positive employer/employee relations boost.
Nici is a very pretty little thing, and yes, she was serviced by all
of the aforementioned gentlemen, but the whole thing was, IMNSHO,
somewhat dull and certainly drawn out. Somewhat more enjoyable, for
this filthy pervert, was the first gangbang. A sweet, pretty young
thing (whose name I missed) is a checkout girl at a supermarket, and
is talking to a less sweet, not quite so pretty young thing (whose
name I also missed) about, naturally, sex, and particularly, sex with
those two customers over there in the dairy section. Well, the
LSNQSPYT is eventually inspired to go over to the two gents in the
dairy section and proposition them. What ensues is a rather nice
sequence of some 10-15 young men pounding various orifices with
Brobdingnagian proturbances. "Alas," thought your picky old raincoat,
"when is the SPYT going to get in on the act?". Well, quite a ways
into the repeated reamings of the rude, rapacious and ravenous rectum
of the LSNQSPYT, our SPYT can no longer stand at her cash register and
watch. She comes over to join in on the fun, and gets the same
treatment. Only this one treats the viewer to a DP as well. Nothing
like a total doll being filled up with prick like a little pincushion.
Yummy, yummy, yummy. Still, the LSNQSPYT is a trooper, and knows what
A.P. Ervert likes to see when a female sex performer inserts a penis
into her mouth --- SUCK THAT THING, GIRL! Those phalluses go
waaaaaaaay in there, and she refrains from that contemptible fake
blowjob technique of putting the head just inside the lips and
stroking with her hand while bouncing around. You go, girl!
Anyhow, the cumshot was a disappointment, as is noted in that other
post. Now, call me a boring vanilla anti-smut crusader if you will,
but, Ervert doesn't much care whether there's a facial or not. Just
let's all have lots of fun and let me watch. But the director here
tries to make a monster facial while the SPYT clearly has a rule
against semen deposits on her countenence. She kneels there on the
floor, tongue out, about a foot from the bursting phallus --- and if a
fellow should dare to squirt in her eye, well, there's hell to pay.
Winces every time something hits her face. She even tries to hold her
hair back so that the guys don't squirt on that. Why bother, just
come somewhere else, fellas. Directors, take note --- Ervert wants to
see people enjoying what they're doing, not some formula like "fuck
her in the pussy, fuck her in the ass, fuck her in the mouth, come in
her face". Well, yeah, maybe *some* formula: Ervert likes to see
women enjoying what they're doing while that happens to be having
large numbers of penises stuck into them, but that's beside the
point. If they don't like it, shoot something else instead. If
that's hot, too, I might watch it.
Over on channel 19 we have a video which starts with Tom Byron,
Brittany O'Connell (again, with gusto, "Yummmmmmy" and again with
disappointment, "at least look like you're into it, honey") and
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