The Director Reviews... Dark Brothers' Hootermania!

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VCA Platinum
Dir: Gregory Dark

Cast:

Crystal Wilder, Tianna Taylor, Lynn LeMay, Danyel Cheeks, Leanna Foxx, Natasha, Marc Wallice, Terry Thomas, Jonathan Morgan, Ron Jeremy, Jack Armstrong, Ted Craig, Jon Dough

The Dark Brother is back! Well, not that he really ever went anywhere, at least not lately.

John Dough plays Sir Bob Thing, a "knight" who has lived his whole life in a bad suit in a bathtub in someone's closet. One day he is visited by Mama Jama who asks him to ask her THE QUESTION. He is clueless, and a tide of prudishness washes over the country. His task: Find the Impeccable Pair of Fleshy Orbs, and ask its beholder to whom they serve. When this task is accomplished, prurient interests will again run the country.

MamaJama gives him a talking Pocket Pussy(tm) to guide him on his quest.

Tianna Taylor/Marc Wallice:

Tianna spends the beginning part of the scene looking a little spaced out. There is some foot/pussy and foot/tit contact for you foot fetishists out there. They fuck, the fucks her tits, he cums on them. This is the first in a long line of pearl necklaces. The editing of this scene is pretty wacky in a good kind of way.

Natasha/Terry Thomas/Ron Jeremy/Marc Wallice:

Natasha is a stripper at a bachelor party. She sucks and fucks the guys. Scene is interesting by the fact thatthere are carboard cutouts of Einstein, Johnny Rotten (or is it Sid?) and others in the room, too. The final analysis: Marc cums on her ass and side. Ron and Terry stand by her knees and shoot their wad. Terry shoot a massive shot, some of which surprises her and hits her in the face, the rest spraying her tits and belly. Ron overshoots his target.

Danyel Cheeks/John Dough:

This is a dullish scene. The editing really tries to make up for its lacklusterness, but just makes it hard to watch. John cums on her twat.

Lynn LeMay/Johnathan Morgan:

I have never laughed so hard at a porn flick than I did this time. Jon plays "Chicken Man" a fella wearing a chicken mask and squawking. Lynn's tits are just too big (blasphemy!) She is over on her back, and they almost cover her face! There is good music here, and everyone seems to be having a good time with a lot of smiles and laughing. This scene was very enjoyable to watch. She goes through many contortions. He cums a small load on her tits.

Leanna Foxx/Jack Armstrong/Ted Craig:

Ted and Jack play "Dog Men" wearing dog noses and crawling on all fours. They are there to service Leanna Foxx who is hanging upside down to let gravity have its way with her tits the other way, to cancel it's normal pull out. More feet action. The men have leashes around their cocks. Pretty soft cocks for guys who get to fuck Leanna Foxx. One guy cums on her white stockinged foot , the other on her ass.

Crystal Wilder/Ron Jeremy/Terry Thomas/Jon Morgan/John Dough/Jack Armstrong/Ted Craig:

Crystal gets gang banged. (When doesn't she these days?) It plays like every other gangbang in recent memory. Terry Thomas sprays his lovely wife with a shot from her crotch which hits her face. John Dough hits her shoulder and tits. The rest of the guys hit her tits and the bed.

A very enjoyable pornographic diversion. It almost made being sick fun! The music was good, not the usual lite jazz fusion crap/thrash metal noise we have come to expect. The lighting was great, the script was funny, John Dough had a good performance... Not a facial kind of movie, but with a title like Hootermania, you expected a lot of tit shots. The scenes were hot, on the whole, and different.

The quality of the production and the extra scene (over the usual 5) push this out of 3.00 territory and into a respectable 3.35