LACTAMANIA 6

(1997, Totally Tasteless Video. Directed by Loretta Sterling)
Cast: Elexa, Renee Summers, Mystika, Alex Sao Paulo, John Janiero, Dick Nasty, Randy Detroit, Will Ravage

Well, luckily I found a video store that carries this series, so that I can watch and review, in hopes of some new spark, instead of buying the damn thing and cursing myself afterwards.

The movie opens up with the Bogas Brothers (Alex Sao Paulo, Will Ravage) helping a yound lady at the payphone (Elexa). She's wearing a nice leather outfit, and is an average-looking Latino, possibly East Indian. They give her a ride, and she reveals that she lactates. She pulls down her top, wearing a nice open-cupped bra (something I haven't seen before), showing some nice B-cup tits with dark, large areolae and nipples.

She flashes them from the backseat as they drive, ho hum, to Alex's place. There they hook up with two white guys (who I assume are John and Randy). They're all set up for a shoot, so she goes into the bathroom to freshen up. She comes out, and immediately commences to doing all four guys. Mostly doggy style stuff, and she doesn't wait for the anal scene. We then get a DP, whereupon she sits down on a black quilt, and begins some milk squirting. There aren't too many long squirts, just some dribbling on their dicks and so forth. She's no distance queen like Trinity, Sahara or Crystal.

Then they bring out those damnable vacuum pumps connected to the glasses, and try to get a little out. The cups are way too large for her tits, and after a couple pumps (getting nothing out, as expected), they dump the pump and she recommenses her dribbling. Yawn.

Elexa ends with a semi-poor facial from all the guys, doing a slight-cum dodge each time.

Then we get Renee. This scene is basically additional footage from her scenes in the last Lactamania. Remember the pumps from Lactamania 5, how she couldn't get any flow? Well, she does this time, but the damn editor cut out all the good stuff!!! DAMMIT! So doofy Dick Nasty comes in with that little squeeze bulb pump and gets a little bit out of her, but ends up making a big mess.

Renee blows Dick, with some decent milk squirts, and straddles him for the fuck. Renee at least gets into the fuck, with some nasty talk and a good deal of gusto. A sideway fuck comes next, a little more squirting, and Dick ends with a nice facial.

Third and final is Mystika, back from her debut in Lactamania 5. Now I ran L5 again, and I'll be damned if it isn't almost exactly the same goddamn footage! I would swear that almost 75% of this scene was recycled from L5, with the same oiling up the tits scene, closeup bj with Will Ravage and fuck positions. What is wrong with these people! Same angry look at the facial, with a little extra at the end, as she squirts some nice shots on his dick. Mystika either doesn't like the taste of Will's cock, her milk, or both, and her wry face turned me off like a switch.

I would have to say this was the WORST Lactamania installment yet. You never, NEVER recycle scenes, dammit, and they broke that sin horribly in this installment. Their box covers are apparently better developed than these pictures are, and you well know the inverse relationship between the glam of the box cover and the quality of the film.

HELLO? Loretta? Are you out there? Get some fucking writers already, and get some new starlets, and get rid of those goddamn homemade breast pumps. They don't work, they look painful and they are not erotic! All I want is a nice sizeable budget to make a lactation film, and I would go for it. I just need a chance!

Well, hopefully I'll be posting a lactation/pregnancy video review list on the rame website in the next couple months, when I get some time to review what is already in my collection. I've gotten enough positive responses on it, and I want to let everyone know what is good, and what is a waste of time.

Until next time, may all your cereal be milky.