From: [email protected] (Tracer Bullet)
Subject: Re: A movie EVERYONE should see
Date: Wed, 04 Feb 98 16:40:10
Organization: none

On Tue, 03 Feb 98 01:21:40, Jackie Shark 
wrote:

>                          R*A*M*E
>
>Plot summary: A great multi-generational ensemble cast learns 
>      about life and love through their shared interest in 
>       pornography.

>Directed by Jeff Vanzetti
>
>       "Dynamic action from Cage early in the movie but then his 
>       character inexplicably disappears. Why? Maybe that will be 
>       explained in the inevitable sequel `R*A*M*E II: The Flame 
>       Wars'" New York Times

Too funny.  One of the classic rame posts.  However, I see the sequel
not as The Flame Wars, but in the inimitable George Lucas style:

RAME WARS: A New 'Ho

IMHO, in this film, the dark side is comprised of people who want to
enslave all the women of the galaxy by giving them big fake boobs,
blonde hair, and lobotomies.  The stormtroopers are all male leads who
can't get wood, are hairy as Chewbacca, about 20 lbs. overweight, and
they can't aim  a facial shot worth shit (hmm, sounds like the actual
movie stormtroopers!)

All the good guys are out to keep ladies natural and hot, and to
eliminate all the ugly stormtroopers and Ron Jeremy, who happens to be
the Emperor in a cameo role.

I can see Luke Ford as the heroic farmboy who tells everyone how great
a pilot he is and how much he knows about dogfighting, but since he
has no license--and the fact no one has ever seen him in a cockpit--
everyone just ignores his chatter with a demeaning smile and a pat on
the head.

Brandy can play the Princess Leia character, although this may be
debateable, who for some reason gets captured halfway through by the
Empire and turned into Jenna Jameson, at which point Han, Luke and Co.
have to just leave her at the Death Star.

Asia Carerra can play Mon Mothma, the strategic matriarchal leader of
the Rebel forces, who speaks rarely but intelligently as she and her
staff plots to overthrow the Empire.

As for the rest of the cast, I'm open for suggestions.  Yoda?  Darth
Vader?  Ewoks?  We've already got the phallic symbols with the light
sabers, and the huge boob-shaped Death Star.



-- Tracer Bullet: P.I., misanthrope, and notary public
http://www.ipass.net/~tbullet/