FROM: ZCKZ82D@prodigy.com (Libertine Circus)|
SUBJECT: Shelby Stevens Interview
DATE: 13 Sep 1996 07:22:31 GMT
ORGANIZATION: Prodigy Services Company 1-800-PRODIGY
This is an interview conducted by Toby Dammit, an industy insider who writes for magazines such as RAVE and DIRTY. This interview appears in the number 2 edition his self-published underground zine SMUT. Beware that this interview was transcribed word-for-word and like all casual conversation it tends to run all over the place. Hope you enjoy!!
Shelby Stevens interview
by Toby Dammit
Toby Dammit: Alright, Okay we were supposed to go see Adam Ant tonight but I fucked up.
Shelby Stevens: Bum. You lied to me.
No I didn't, I was just misinformed, that's all. Uh, what does Adam Ant mean to you?
I remember I lusted after him.
Lusted after him?
Yea, I thought he was pretty fine. Especially in Strip (an Adam Ant album). He was a little cheesier, but that's when I really saw his videos... he showed his chest in that little white shirt. Pretty sexy.
OK. I was like very, very into Adam Ant when I was a kid. Everybody thought I was a fag because of it.
Well, you are, but that's beside the point. I still love you.
Yea, but I lived on an Army base and everybody was like ultra macho.
But anyway, okay. Speaking of like old times and everything, tell us about leaving Sacramento.
Leaving Sacramento. Ah, nothing against Sacramento, its just, you know.
Does the term Hickville come into play?
No, Sacramento is . . . . it has some stuff going for it. Its not that small of a town. It's just um . . . I knew there had to be more for me. I knew who I wanted to know there and did what I wanted to do, and it wasn't enough. When I was about 15 I ran away and came to L.A. for almost a month.
Saw the movie The Breakfast Club.
Yea. I was down here starvin, eatin peanut butter sandwiches, sleepin in fields, and there was a big ol billboard for The Breakfast Club.
Did you find what you were looking for then?
When I ran away?
So, it wasn't what you thought it was gonna be?
No, it was really actually a pretty horrible experience. Um, I ended up moving out shortly after moving back home, finding a room mate, finishing school. I would have much rather have just done that to begin with. It was an experience. You know at the time I was a little crazy. I was really into punk and everything.
I would have loved to have known you back then. That would have been really funny.
It took me a long time to actually get to L.A. from Sacramento because, considering I had my mohawk at the time and the person I was coming down with was a skinhead. Ah, there weren't a lot of brave people who wanted to pick us up. But the people you least expect.
Yea. We had a basketball player, very large black man who was brave enough to pick up a little chick with a mohawk and a skinhead guy, and he was totally cool, named Aaron. And we had a biker guy pick us up in a little truck and take us back to his house and his wife made us a big pot of spaghetti and smoked dope with us and then took us part of the way the next day. And then in Bakersfield we mad a lawyer guy pick us up. And that was the moment I knew I'd move to L.A. cause I remember pulling into the mountains and seeing the skyline. You know, and all the lights and I liked that. That was when I just knew I'd live here. Kinda stupid, but . . . . So, I got older and moved.
Well, what were you looking for the first time you came? Just to get out of there? Or was there something specific that you were questing after? The search for the Holy Grail. The search for the holy safety pin.
No, um about that time I was going through a rough spell with drugs and . . . . ah just mostly drugs and my stepfather and I weren't getting along at all and I decided I didn't need it. So I left.
But why L.A.?
Where else would you go?
Cause it is the Mecca?
Yea. Definitely, Los Angeles. You know, its just the place to be.
Did you ever have any delusions of, well . . . . I shouldn't say delusions but did you ever have aspirations of being a movie star, or becoming famous?
No, I just wanted to . . . . I don't know. I just knew that there were a lot of jobs down here and a lot more opportunities to make money. You know, and maybe because I did go through a lot growing up with drugs and friends and relationships and the such. People get the kind of preconceived ideas about Sacramento, you know? I don't know . . . . . I just wanted to start fresh, know what I mean? Don't get me wrong, I was never really the big party girl. I mean I did drugs and stuff, but I didn't have that bad of reputation. I just saw people wasting away there and never really accomplishing anything. Just working to survive and not to have fun, a nd partying hard on the weekend. Its the same old same old and I didn't want that in my life.
So, what do you think you'd be doing if you were there? If you were still there?
I'd be doing probably make-up stills for a photography company and going to the local club to watch whatever bands came into town and drinking way too much alcohol and being pretty unhappy.
Okay, so you came to L.A.
To sober up.
Yea, alright. You came to L.A., started working at Angels (a cream and hot oil wrestling joint down in Long Beach).
Did some photography.
Did some Bits and Pieces (for Hustler magazine).
And then you called me. Well, actually that's not necessarily true.
That's the very short version.
Okay, the thing I hate is that I was number two. That fucking pisses me off.
That grates me so bad. It's like you can't be . . . . you have to be number one. It has to be number one. You know what I mean?
You're the number one guy.
Every interview you ever do you always say "Oh, the first thing I did was Alex Jordan's first time Lesbians. I had such a wonderful experience!"
Well, I did. Not that I didn't have a wonderful experience shootin for you.
You see that was different, because not only did I have a wonderful experience shootin for Alex, I had a wonderful experience physically with Alex.
Oh, I see.
I mean, it's always going to stand out because it was my first time ever with a woman and being that she is very knowledgeable woman in the homosexual department, it was a great experience for me. So it's always going to be a memorable, happy time.
Well that doesn't make me feel any better, but that's okay.
Well, don't take it personally.
Oh, I'm not.
You would have been my first sexual experience . . . .
If I was a woman who knew how to please other women . . . . . .
Right. Okay. Well. What can I say? Ah, so anyway, then you called me up . . . . I used to get calls all the time. People would call me at least once a week saying "How can I get into the business?" right? People would call us all the time and basically one out of every twenty people would actually come in, and they were always these like really ugly fat chicks. We'd have to take them in the back and take some polaroid's and then "Yea yea we have this big movie commin up . . . ." then we'll never call them again. You know? But like every time you came in . . . . My jaw hit the ground when you came in. Cause like nobody ever came in that looked like you. It was just like . . . . .
Well thank you.
And your boyfriend wasn't bad either.
You liked my Doc's. You liked a girl who could wear Doc Martins and still look good.
See that's what it was. You stole my heart with the friggin Doc Martins. Anyway, but every time you came in we'd take you in the back and take polaroid's.
Yea, you must have a like fifty polaroid's and I'm like "I haven't changed much in two days, but okay!"
I didn't know any better.
I still have all those.
Actually I printed them.
And I really did though. Anyway. And my boss Michael, would have you turn around for him "Okay turn this way. Okay turn that way. You gotta do something about your hair."
Yes, I wasn't quite blond enough.
Yea, I did feel like a prize heffer being examined, I was waiting for him to like start examining the teeth!
Well, thank God you actually, moved on to bigger and better things than that bullshit.
Cause I know the movies that I did were pretty bad.
Oh, well you know.
No, you don't have to.
Well, grobble, grobble, grobble.
Yea, right exactly, anyway.
You did what you could with what you had to work with.
Thank you. Thank you. But that brings us to Cousin Bubba.
Cousin Bubba and Bobby Sue.
Okay, let me ask you a question. Do you feel like that is the role . . . . Do you feel like you'll always be Cousin Bobby Sue?
No? Hey, you know what? William Shatner will never be anything but Kirk. He could go on and win an Academy Award for doin another movie, and he would be anything but Kirk.
Okay, but then again Star Trek lasted how many generations and Bubba and Bobby Sue lasted two.
That is not necessarily true.
Yea, basically. I mean it was really fun you know i enjoyed working with you and it's fun just to goof around.
Now, let me ask you a question. Every time you go somewhere, to a convention and stuff, what does everybody tell you about? Every time you walk into Hustler what do they say?
Okay, yes it's true. The people at Hustler loved that. They know the little song and they sing along. You know and that cool, I'm not ashamed.
I had fun with it, I did. But I hope that's not what I'm being judged by. I mean I don't feel we had enough time to take it to where we want it.
Um, I didn't have any sex roles in it, so it was like, you know I mean, I've done things out there that I'm very, very proud of that I actually had the opportunity to put something more into it so that I hope people would you know think of me with.
Well that will change.
That people will think of me, not just with Bobby Sue. I mean, If we would of had more time to work with, we could have done something you know.
There's always tomorrow.
Yea, but yea, it was really fun. It was a fun experience.
I wanna quote something.
Goofy as hell.
Have you ever seen the new Adams Film World? The Adam Film World year end directory for '95?
You haven't? Oh well because, your little blurb, you know the little thing they say about all the people. I believe this is the first year you had a blurb.
Okay, it's got this picture of you. A very nice picture, I don't remember what movie I'm not quoting verbatim, but it say "big boobed, big lipped, like something. Right. Then it says Shelby Stevens also played Cousin Bobby Sue in the riotous, the RIOTOUS amateur video series from Visual Images, Cousin Bubba's Country Corn Porn. Riotous, do you know what that means?
It means its very funny. Hilarious. I'm smarter than I look.
Anyway, onto other things. So, you've worked for a lot of fairly big people. Like you've really in the short time you've been around, you've really skyrocketed.
I do okay for what I do. You know, I did not come into this business with hopes of being the next you know, Amber Lynn or whomever. I do what I want to do. I like working with women. This is a whole new thing for me, so excuse the hell out of me if I wanna do it often. Um, I work with the man I wanna work with. Um, and I do well with that, you know considering. I get a lot of shit about it, but I do well.
So is there anything you want to say to the people that are constantly trying to talk you into working with other people.
Well, you know, basically let them fuck on screen. Let them take the chances that we take and let them deal with the people we have to deal with and then let them talk shit and tell them to shut the fuck up and be happy that the talent is willing to share their sexuality with thousands of people, and that should make them happy. You know, I get so tired of having people talk shit about me or Janine or whatever other girls that just want to work with girls, or with their boyfriends you know, or that are classified as not real porn stars or you know seeming better than that. It's so negative, how could these fucking people write about all this shit. People who will never even come close to having that caliber of pussy near them. I mean I'm sorry, these people talk so much shit, it I hear one more thing about Janine, you know what I mean?
What are you going to do?
I'm going to smack them. I swear. These women, and most men don't have the opportunity sometimes to even meet girls like this and here Janine is or myself sharing with them, watching them have sex and enjoying themselves hopefully. You know that I'm sharing that with them an I enjoy it. You know and I think at least my fans are happy, you know that I'm sharing that with them and I enjoy it. You know that I mean, yea I could go out and fuck some guy just to make the money. But I wouldn't enjoy it more than likely and it would show, and then I would be criticized for being a lame fuck. You know I'd rather, I mean, to me if more people just do what they truly enjoy doing our movies would be a lot better. You know I personally can't stand working with girls who really don't like girls but are there doing it just for the paycheck. You know, here I am trying to get a good scene out of someone who is just like "Well, don't fuck up my hair," and "Don't fuck up my lipstick," and "Please don't put anything in my pussy." If the girl would chose to stand up and say, " I don't like working with women then she would be puttin out better scenes with the guy and I would be gettin girls to work with that enjoyed workin with women. You know?
Why do you think everybody is so adamant about trying to talk you into doin scenes with guys?
Cause you're like forbidden fruit.
Cause you're almost like that fruit. You dangle it out in front of them you know, its all about control and power. I mean I don't want to dog out the business cause I actually enjoy what I do. But then again, I do it on my terms. That's why I enjoy it. Too many people, the controling faction in the industry want everything one way, and if a person comes in with a head on thier shoulders and says, "I'm not going to do anything you want me to do just because you're trying it. You know I have my likes and dislikes and I'm going to do what I want to do." They don't like that. They want to have everything, "Oh well you know there's a price, we'll get her." you know and then it becomes like "Well who's going to get her first?" I think it's just mostly power.
Tell me a little bit about the bidding war that was going on.
The extensive bidding war.
You don't have to go into detail as tot he like who was asking what and all that. But how did you feel when that was goin on and you don't have to mention the companies if you don't want to. But just fill everybody in is that you were contemplating maybe in the back of your mind or . . . . .
No, it was pretty forward. Basically I was considering whether or not I should pick a couple of guys to work with. Um. I mentioned that I was considering it and a couple companies jumped at it wanting me to do movies for them with other guys and those companies. But although it was flattering you know its nice to know that people are willing to spend money and they do want you. I mean its nice to know that people want to see it. But then again it goes back to that whole big cow thing that we all start to become part of. Obviously, I chose not to. I felt that just for personal reasons. I felt that it wasn't very good for me to do that. It really got blown out of proportion and it was kind of silly.
Okay lets talk about that. The blowing out of proportion. Okay, You have this . . . . like if people just read the press that's been out about you in the last like four or five months.
Okay, seven months.
For the past seven months, every month I hear about who I'm sleeping with on screen, who I'm sleeping with off screen. If I'm going to do guys. I'm not going to do guys. What companies I'm going to work for. It's like this ongoing saga.
Now I have one question for you. How does that happen when the guy who is writing the ongoing saga is your room mate.
Like you room with this person.
Well, when you live with people you discuss, you ask questions, you say, "What do you think?" You ask opinions. Especially when all your room mates are associated with the business.
And so liberties are taken, which I don't mind because I know he never diss's me or speaks badly of me and that's his job so you know, you expect it. But you have to realize that he's not the only person writing, you know he can turn in his piece but then there's other people who might . . . .
Spice it up.
Yea, spice it up.
So, he's not only to blame.
No. And they hear a rumor that so and so said that I'm doing this and so it gets changed. And its always late you know, it's always like three months behind and half true.
Can't always believe it's true.
Does it upset you that this has gone on?
It's like they've said everything under the sun about you. Its unbelievable.
No, not at all. I actually find it amusing. I think once they stop writing about me, I think I'd be a little more upset. Um, because I don't feel it's doing any harm and I think it's kind of funny cause it keeps them on their toes. They don't realize what's going on.
You know, and it's not anything scandalous like I find it humorous. And people don't have anything better to write about, I mean really who cares unless you're me or one of the so called suitors or whatever the situation.
Okay, how come you haven't gone dancing?
Ah how come? Well, um one: I've been having a lot of fun doing what I do which is having sex with a lot of women. Um and mostly probably because I haven't felt prepared. I've been a house girl which is you know, I've worked in specific clubs and the wrestling thing.
At the same time you were an adult actress also and they didn't even know. Did they? That's pretty funny. Why didn't you tell them?
Well that was in the beginning. That was when I first started and by the time I quit dancing . . . .
Not when you were a house girl though. You has some movies out.
A couple but mostly like pro ams and a few things. But right when people really go to see me around I quit. For a short time I went back to Sacramento for a little bit and danced in a club down there and the day after I quit and moved back to L.A. one of my customers came in with one of my movies. I even went by Shelby and no one knew and the day after one of my girlfriends called and said.
Yea, really funny.
How would the people that you went to school with think?
Oh what would they think.
What did they think about you when you were in school? Were you popular, were you totally rebellious, were you the girl they wrote about on the bathroom wall?
No, no. I pretty much got along with everybody at school. Like in junior high my house was right behind the football field at school, so like all the football players during training in the summer would come over and we would all drink and everything. I was just one of the guys.
No, they came over because you were sunbathing with a bikini on.
No, when I was in junior high I was into punk and the whole thing.
With your purple mohawk?
That was when I was in high school. But I was eighteen before I had sex.
Yea, I wasn't the person everyone was talking about. I had a lot of boyfriends cause everyone was trying to get it. I was one of the last virgins in Sacramento at the time but once they realized . . . .
Why did you wait so long? Did it mean a lot to you at the time?
Yea, well sex still means a lot to me.
Yea, that's probably another reason why I don't sleep with a lot of people. I can't say . . . gee how deep so we want this interview to go? When I was younger I was molested and so I was in no hurry to get fucked. The guys I do have sex with are people I care about or there is something there. You know, I've been with very few men and I've never been one to just sleep around, I've just never had a one night stand or anything like that. To me women are different, I have fun with a women, but its more like a one step beyond friendship kind of thing. It's like playtime, but it doesn't hold the same emotional ties as a male/female type of relationship does.
Do you think that . . . .
So meanwhile back at school . . . . no I was just one of the guys. I partied hard, I partied actually very hard, and all the guys respected that, cause I could out drink half of them. So I got along with the jocks, I got along with just about everybody, um I was kind of wild, they knew I was dealing with the drugs or whatever but I was never really spoken that badly about. Toward mid high school about 15 and a half, I moved out with a girlfriend and got my own place and I think I was the only one in high school with my own place, so basically it was the party haven. I was pretty well liked.
So back to the original question. What do you think they think of you? Or what do they think of you, do you know?
Yea, do I care? You know.
No, not that you care.
Well, my true friends think it's kind of funny because everybody was kind of shocked because like I said I was one of the last virgins and I wasn't . . . . if I was hanging out with the band it was because my friends were in it, not because I was trying to get with one of them. So it was very unexpected of me. Um, but my friends know that I've basically stayed the same. I'm the same now as when I moved out here. They really don't care and they're kind of proud of me for standing up for what I want and not just . . . . and the other people fuck 'em. If they're just there and I don't know I can't be that concerned. People are important to me.
Do you think the fans are the people that watch the movies that you do, do you think they see the real you or is there a difference between the person you really are and Shelby Stevens. Is it like a big persona?
There is a difference, but not a big one. I try to stay pretty much myself. Obviously if I'm playing a character, I have to vary form it a little bit. But Shelby seems to be a little more outspoken than I am. I think that's the biggest difference. Shelby is the one who gets all dressed up and dolled up and looks sexy and goes out and feels confident enough to talk to everybody and I guess I'm a little more laid back. I still tend to just be one of the guys and it's hard to see myself as a sex symbol or whatever the term is. When you have fans coming up to you and there telling you I think your beautiful and I love watching your stuff.
Who the hell ever told you that?
Fuck you. They do I swear, you can read the fan mail. But its kind of weird cause . . .
Cause you don't see yourself in that light.
No, I've just always been one of the guys. I've gotten along better with guys better. There's a little less bullshit. I've never really tried to be one to impress all the little girl stuff. you know that was never me. But it's kind of fun, it's fun right now, I'm doing more of the girl stuff. I get to play dress-up and wear all the fluffy stuff and it's kind of nice.
So, you're more of a tomboy at heart.
Oh, yea, yea.
Do you think you ever manipulate men? Since you don't work with many men probably not.
No I don't think so.
Do you think you are capable of it?
Well, I think any women is capable of it. Not to be like a smart ass or to offend any guys out there but men basically think of one thing. If any women is smart enough to realize that, then . . . .
Oh really!!! Men only think of one thing!!
Most men do.
Really? What's that?
Get with it, you know. A lot of guys have depth, they mean well but a lot of typical men . . . how do I put this. Men love women you know.
Not all men love women, some men love other men.
That's true, but all the ones . . . . You're fucking with me now. Now, where was I going with this? Okay. Maybe I see things different. There's good and bad in both sides. I'm not saying that all women are better than guys by far. Okay.
I personally . . . if I'm putting something into a relationship with a guy or I'm attracted to a guy, it's usually more than the outside or the money or whatever they typical thing is, there has to be something there. Some sort of emotional thing. Where I think men tend to be more visual first than later they will get to know what the persons like. You know what I mean? Most guys tend to look at the package and then worry about what's inside later.
I think women do that, they just don't admit it.
No, I don't know.
What's the first thing you see of somebody. You see what they look like.
Obviously you're gonna see that. I know a lot more guys that will stay with beautiful women who's just a psycho bitch from hell just because she is a pretty package.
They have problems themselves.
Yea. Where a lot of women will obviously see an attractive man your looking at the outside thing but an attractive man can really get ugly fast if he doesn't have something to him.
Yea, but there are a lot of women that are with the wrong guy for the same exact reason and there are a lot of them in this business.
That's where men and women differ I think if a woman is going to be after one thing that's not emotional it's going to tend to be more towards money and a guy is going to be more toward the ornament. A guy will put up with a lot more shit from a woman if she's pretty where a woman will put up with shit from a man if he can offer her more financially. You know like I said so not both sides are fucked as equally just in different ways.
Do you think that the fans see the real you? Or do you think that you just put up enough of a facade where they really don't see the real person there.
Not really. I think they see quite a bit of me. Obviously I got personal things that I've got to keep personal.
Well, that they don't know about.
I try to be pretty much myself. There are girls in the business that are always different outside the business on camera and they are talking to their fans or whatever and I don't like that because I don't like being fake, you know, I'm very open about what people think and what I want and most people who are fans of mine know she will work with a guy and I'm not working with guys and basically the reasons I don't work with guys. I know what I'm doing I feel like I'm trying to be very open with everybody and be pretty much myself you know maybe a little more dolled up and more glamorized but basically me. You just can't tell everybody other things. I feel pretty much what you see is what you get.
How does the male/female sex differ on camera than off camera?
Huh? I assume you're talking about the sex between my on screen partner.
Well, I did say male/female. Since you only work with one guy.
Yea, it differs. I love having sex with him on film because I love having sex of film. I tend to be very voyeuristic person I love to watch, I'm a very visual person.
You like people to watch you.
No, and that's weird for me. If I was in a situation I'd much rather be sittin back watching other people than have people watch me. But for some reason while I'm in front of the camera I guess that the other side is curious.
Okay, then take this question a bit further. If there was a camera in your room that you didn't know about what would people see between you and Mr. Daniels that they wouldn't see on screen? Not specifically but . . . .
Anal. Just kidding folks. Well, obviously it's different. I enjoy having sex with him because . . . .
Does it go longer? Does it go shorter?
Okay I enjoy having sex with him in front of the camera especially lately all you fans know we were split up for awhile and there was no sex between us and so if you see any scenes after us getting back together you will see a change. You know we both come to terms with being in front of the camera and enjoying each other sexually without any hang-ups and its really hot. But in personal there's more of the romantic side to it. I mean we do have really hot, steamy, nasty sex. But I can't lie, obviously people know were a couple. A lot of people are married in this business and pretend to be single because they don't want to dash any hopes which I can understand but I'm not gonna think these people are stupid. I mean if you see a girl constantly with the one guy and only working with than one guy obviously they're a couple. We were a couple that were together a long time before we got into the business and plan on being a long time after. So, we have a love so there's that we're involved that we keep special for that we don't share on screen. Because basically you don't want to see me making love on screen you want to see him fucking the shit out of me on screen which is fine because I love him doing it but in personal live you've got to treat some things special. The length of time would depend on the time you caught us, you know sometimes you can go a long time because you don't have to stoop and change camera positions or stop to get stills or whatever. But sometimes you're just tired and horny and you want to do a nice quickie.
I guess this isn't actually very good for you to be talking about all this now is it? With him being away.
Yea. I'm going through hell. He's in the Philippines shooting and he's been gone almost two weeks and I've been a very good girl which basically means I haven't gotten laid and I'm going through withdrawals but I can handle it. I've gone through longer times without sex, it's just easier when you're not with someone. You don't know what you're missing.
Okay, tell me about the slow transition into very, very small dildoes and anal beads.
To a full fledge anal queen that I am now.
I remember this movie that you worked on i think I actually got you the job but I don't want to say anything about that. It was like this totally nasty fucking, massive dildos in the butt in this all-girl movie (Junkyard Dykes). It was like dildos on the end of Mikita power drills and these but huge springs with these gigantic dildos doming out of it and ropes banging from the ceiling and these motorcycles.
And they do not stick one thing up my ass.
I now everybody in the whole series for like three movies and something shoved up their butt. You took one look at those anal beads that were kookeed up to some kind of like speedometer and said . . . .
I'm not gonna put that in my ass. Do I have to put that in my ass?
Well, first of all, no one told me that that wasn't expected.
Well, it wasn't because I knew you didn't do that.
That was not my fault. But like I said if those beads would have been crammed up my ass at the time I would have been very miserable and it would of shown. So I did not do that.
Didn't that bike fall over?
Yea, yea it did. But the whole anal thing wasn't something I did im my personal life, it was a personal hang-up of mine for certain reasons and it wasn't something I felt comfortable with. I guess being in the business you learn more about your sexuality I learned a lot more about myself I came to grips with a lot of things, personal things as far as sexual hang-ups and stuff and I thought what the hell maybe I should try this a lot of people do like this and I'd play a little bit and it would be kind of fun and I started thinking I can do that. Maybe something just really small. So I did a film for my roommate (Clockwork Orgy) and it's technically my first choice. So I went out and found your weapon of choice. So I went out and found this vibrator that is probably no bigger than this little bitty microphone we're using right now. I don't think this is considered a vibrator it's so tiny. When Ashley and I were doing a scene it was a hot nasty scene, you guys have to rent this movie, great scene and she goes to stick this up my butt, I'm thinking what the hell did I get myself into. It was really slow, and I'm thinking on man but then about a month later Bruce Seven called me up and Bruce Seven is someone I've always admired because . . . . .
You have the need to be beaten.
I guess I tend to be an aggressive person. I do like aggressive sex. I like to have sex with people who enjoy it and and are real and aren't premadona's about it and just have fun. I know Bruce Seven has a reputation for using his girls that are like that they are physical they're not worried about their makeup and they are into each other and it's great. And it is very hard core, it's not Vivid. There is nothing bad about Vivid but it's not all glamorized, it's real sex and it's really nasty sex. People obviously love that because Bruce Seven is always the top rated bought movies around. "Butt Slammers" "Take it to the Limit" all that's great material. I heard rumors that he was calling checking up on me. He had seen me and he called people that he saw me work for and to find out how i was and luckily people told him positive things and so he called me up . . . .
Imagine that. Someone actually saying that you were a decent performer. Wow and you were a raving bitch.
No, that's a shocker. He called me up and asked me to Butt Slammers 9 and I quoted him a pretty outrageous price for anal and he's like that much? Well, it better be good. Well, I hadn't really told hi9m that technically that would be my rally first anal scene because I don't consider the little I did for Clockwork Orgy was very little and I knew this would be a real anal scene. So I lied and said I did it all the time and no problem. It went very well. It was actually one of my favorite scenes I did for Butt Slammers 9 with Misty Rain and Danielle Cheeks and they slammed by butt alright. Afterwards I said "Oh its not that bad, that was my first time." I worked for Bruce a lot as nasty and as rough and unruly as he acts, he's such a sweetheart and he really takes care of his girls. He's really concerned about people and stuff, safety and physical well being. That's why his products look so good because he's really one of the few directors that truely treats his talent well and in return they treat him well by giving him the best performance they can. That's why I do anal for him and also bondage for him and that's hard.
Lets talk about bondage for a minute. You like totally freaked me out because when I found out you were doing that I didn't think you had any bad in you.
Bondage is something I enjoy. I guess I'm pretty much a switch hitter though I think I prefer being a submissive to women because I don't really feel that comfortable topping a woman, you know being dominant. I think women are to precious to be beat. I've been in a physical relationship and maybe I have a little more respect for women and its hard for me to inflict pain on someone. Obviously, if the people are there doing bondage and they're there at their own free will and they're enjoying it but it's still kind of hard for me to dwell on the girl where as guys . . . . the guys who are on the bondage shoot are very durable and they're built stronger too, so you don't feel like you're doing as much damage and they truely love it ad I truly love being dominant to them.
Face it, you love beating the shit out of all men. Any man that you con get your hands on, you beat to pulp except Rod Stewart and Nicholas Cage. You couldn't beat them because it would be against your . . . .
Unless they asked me to.
No, that's not true. I like bondage it's a whole different realm. I've learned a lot of new things. The whole regular sex industry is a lot of fun. But the bondage side, there's an art to it. There's technique to it there's certain ways of actual tying, there's so much behind it that if you really study up on it it's really a neat thing. The people are very nice people if you go to personal private bondage parties, theres so much more courteous and asking permission for things and not just assuming. With bondage you can go into other realms like I have so many fans who are into all sorts of things and I really never knew about that and its kind of cool you know I don't dig feet, but if someone digs my feet that's cool, you know, I can do that and everybody has there thing and it's kind of hard to have a fetish to be into bandage or something like that because in the porn industry regular sex is kind of okay it's becoming okay in society because just about every regular movie you see someone is fucking or something happening or people are being killed and that is becoming a little more mainstream. Whereas fetish's and bondage is till such taboo for that people to strong enough to be into it and admit to it I think that's really cool and they are really cool people. I've met a lot of really interesting people. I've been shooting a lot for a company called Bizarre in New York, a great company to work for. They're wonderful people, they treat people great. They let you do what you're comfortable with. Being in New York taking us to a few underground clubs there's a lot a cool people out there. Its nice to see something outside your own little world. In their own day to day routine it's nice to see another side.
Could you ever see doing any kind of bondage stuff with Ian?
Really? Why is that? You might get more into the personal side of things? As far as I know, and I know you fairly well, bondage isn't part of your personal life.
Um to a point it is. It's becoming more. The more I'm around doing it professionally the more I'm enjoying it and its kind of slowly but surely creeping into my personal life. With Ian it would be a little softer bondage. He's not the type of person who would feel that comfortable just wailing on me.
He couldn't take it he is a wimp, just admit it.
No he wouldn't feel comfortable beating the shit out of me unless I wanted him to.
Well, I didn't mean that I don't think he could ever hit you.
No, I'm not talking about physical abuse.
I know what you mean but still . . . . . . . .
He could if I asked him to, he would but . . . . . . he's brought up well and you don't beat women and that's a personal thing of his that I think is hard for him. I like being submissive because I'm comfortable with his topping me but he's not so therefore I would never . . . . you have to be into it. That wouldn't be part of our thing.
In the movies that you do is there anything that you like really want to do that you haven't had the chance to do.
There's a few things. I will eventually start doing anal with Ian. Right now I work with women and he works with woman and we work together. Fairly soon he will only be working with me. Now we have this on tape.
Is that just optimistic on your part?
No, no it is something that has been discussed and once that comes about and then we'll probably start working with anal cause I feel comfortable with him and I figure if i can handle working for Bruce Seven then I can handle Ian. I personally don't feel comfortable with anal sex with a multiple sex partners. Although the business is very AIDS aware and we do take tests I feel your risk factors jump up so incredibly with anal sex and I wouldn't want to take a chance when we decided that we were just working with girls after a few batteries of tests then we will be doing anal scenes together.
In a full body condom.
I know people might not want to hear that. We're told as talent in this business not to really talk about AIDS or safe sex because were supposed to be showing this utopia of wonderful love and sex and no one has to worry about whatever and everybody is just fucking everybody but unfortunately folks it's not like that and we are all aware of that hopefully. AIDS is a very big factor, I've had people that I've lost to AIDS and once you see someone die of it, it becomes a big factor. I take chances, we all take chances in this business, we are all aware that we do take chances. My personal life if I was single, condoms are a must. Obviously, I'm screened, you know, I wouldn't wear one with Ian, this is our life. Sex is very enjoyable. I hope to be around for a long time to enjoy it and if that means being aware and maybe taking a little more chances than so be it. I hope maybe my fans are aware of it. If you play you pay. Sex can be a wonderful thing, it really can. It doesn't have to be this big terrible way, you have to be aware. Life or death you know.
So getting back to the original question "Miss off on a tangent".
What things besides having Ian have sex with your asshole do you want to do?
We're planning on doing a DP which will be me and another girl.
What is the fascination with anal sex right now?
Well it's something I'm just starting to dabble with. It's something I haven't done all that time and I still don't do it all the time.
So it's gonna be you, Ian, and this big black guy named Moses, what up with that?
No it will be another girl with a strap-on. I've never done it. I think it's something I want to do. I've never done a DP in my personal life or anything. So it will be fun. But, since I'm only working with one male partner, obviously I'm going to pick a girl who can work a strap-on and I have a few in mind. Those are the top ones right now that I'm thinking about.
What about acting type roles?
I've pretty well given up on those.
I would love to get some good acting roles. But unfortunately, most leads get the best acting roles and those usually require you to work with the lead guy which is usually someone other than my boyfriend.
Do you think that he is not the leading man quality?
No I would never say that. I think he is very capable. I just don't think he has been given the chance. Unfortunately, I think that is because we are a couple and that they put us in good scenes together and gave us the lead together then why would we want to work with other people?
So, if they give you lousy scenes wouldn't that just motivate you more to start fucking everybody else?
Yea, so that's my personal viewpoint on that. Yea, he does have longhair and I can see that hindering him playing a doctor or whatever but I've actually had directors tell me why would I want to work you with him if that's just going to keep giving you money I'd rather you not do it and choose to work with another guy. Like I said it's this power thing. So, I'm happy to do what I do. Good girl/girl sex scenes. The whole dialog thing would be a script and all but good sex. I think, is why we're all here. Why not make the most of what you have to work with?
What about life after porno?
I don't know, you tell me.
Yea, well right now, I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but I'm getting ready to go out on the road which will mean I'm not doing as many movies as I have been, which is kind of fazing out a little bier. I still plan on doing movies but I plan on taking more of a little break in between, cause I don't want to get burned out on them yet. You know, I like what I do but after a good year and a half straight of it, you start feeling like any job, a little burn out. I see what happens to people in the business that stick with it two or three years and don't take any time off. It shows them who they are in just normal everyday and it shows in their work and so I figure on down the road I'll dance and come back and so a few movies.. There's always fresh meat coming in and eventually I'll just fade out of it but I don't see that happening any time soon. I plan on dancing for a few years and eventually ending up in a house with my own kids and a dog and the whole thing you know. The happy little family kind of deal and I'll probably own my own little sex shop or porn store or something like that. I don't know. Who knows.
What about regular movies? Do you have any desire whatsoever to do regular movies where you don't have to fuck anybody.
Well what film would that be?
I don't know.
I kind of think about it being around it.
You could always be in a Corey Feldman movie. You could be . . . . . . . . part 2.
I'm not saying I won't but I'm not striving for it. If I'm dancing and doing these and somebody says "hey why don't you go meet this person and do a B movie or whatever, sure. You know it would be something different besides porn to try and make some money and have some fun with it, but like I said I didn't come down here to be a star I really don't have that to much desire for it and I really think that to have any importance and really be an actress you have to love it and want to do it and I don't that much. So it's not worth it to me. If it comes along.
You're happy with your distance in the porno world where only a certain amount of people know who you are. You don't want to become . . . . . .
No. No. Because like I said, that was never my goal. My goal was just to do what came along.
Tracy Lords has some sort of album out right now.
Yea, I heard about that. Traci is different though. Traci Lords came in very aware of what she was doing, got found out and was basically, " I was young, they persuaded me, oh I really didn't know what I was doing." So she had the sympathy of being young and nieve. All but one of her movies were pulled off the shelf so it wasn't like a constant reminder of her work.
But she is always going to be a former porno star.
Yea, and people know that but there was that sympathy and all for her work isn't out she was so publicized because of that. That gave her a foot in the door. I mean there are a lot of former porn people out there. They are like doing so many gigs and they're doing okay, and a few of the girls are doing acting, but I really don't think you're going to see the likes of Asia Carrera becoming the next fucking, ah . . . . . .
No. Or . . . . . .
Sharon Stone. Well, or something like that. You know what I mean.
Come on. I mean, we fuck for a living and it's fun and it's enjoyable and a lot of people watch it but a lot of people don't admit to watching it and it's still a taboo thing and even thought half of Hollywood is fucking each other and bi or gay or this or that it's still something that's quiet and if you're openly very sexual, then people aren't going to take you seriously. I don't see Warner Brothers putting their money into someone that's so open that everybody says well, why are you hireing that former porn star? I just don't think people are as open minded as we would like them to be.
What do you think about the current trend in adult entertainment to branch out into other areas such as CD-ROM's, porn cards, baseball cards, comic books . . . . . . .
I think it's great. When I say what I say bout the whole acting thing it's not saying that these girls might not be great actresss, it's not saying that I think its right. I wish people would just come to terms with sexuality. Sex is something that we all do and we all think about it. It shouldn't be such a taboo. I think it's great that things are branching out, that means there is a bigger market for it and people don't feel that they have to hide it. They are willing to go out and buy that CD-ROM. It's more widespread and it's encouraging. I think if sex was more open and not such a negative thing was put on it, we'd have a lot less sex crimes, a lot less of the negativity associated with it.
What was the first porno you ever saw?
It was a long time ago when HBO first came out in Sacramento and it showed hard core porn.
I still don't believe this.
I don't believe it.
They did. Okay. They showed hard core porn. It was a John Derrick movie. It wasn't Bo Derrick but it was one of his movies and there was this girl running down the beach and she's naked and her tits are bouncing and this guy comes up chasing behind her and he throws her down and he's doing her doggie and I remember and I was like, "Oh my God, I can't believe this is on TV. I'm there with my friend and her dad and her brothers are watching this thing and I remember it was actually very pretty shot though, cause it was like sunset and the dick is going in and out of her pussy and its all shimmering from the light on it.
Okay, so you're first introduction to porno was something artsy and it was an actual film.
Yea, it was a film. And then a first real hard core porn I remember watching was Night Trips with what's her name.
So, that also another very classy, very sensual.
My ex-fiance at the time really liked Tori Wells.
The first movie I saw was called Dial X for Sex. It was like a film and it was really suspenseful at the beginning. The woman was walking home and it's really dark and these bums are trying to grab her and stuff, and she's going, "Get away from me." And she's like turning the lights off in her house and she looks so innocent in this white nurse outfit, and there's this big guy in her closet. Basically forces her to have sex with him and then at the the end you find out that he was o the phone and it was his fantasy. But, I'm just thinking about what about all hose guys nowadays that are watching porno movies for the first time and things, what are they seeing. Crappy stuff, look at the stuff that's out there nowadays. Horrible stuff. It's shot on video, and that had such an impact on me because I really didn't even really know about sex and then all of a sudden I saw this movie and it was like you know, he was putting his penis in her mouth. It really fucked with me when I first saw it.
Yea but then again, there are some good things out there.
Yea, but the chances of somebody for the first time seeing something is not that good.
Yea, well that's a shame, it really is. It would be nice if we could go back to better quality movies than just . . . . . . . But then again to be fair the first one I rented, I was almost nineteen and I just really having sex, was in my first sexual relationship and I really didn't know much about blow jobs. And I didn't, my fiance at the time was a lot older than me and had quite a lot of experience and so he was out of town and my girlfriend and I went out and rented some pornos and thought we'd get some pointers. We rented the stupidest things, we rented a cartoon porno.
Yea, well that's really good to tell you how to give good head.
Yea but that was funny, we thought it would be cute, so we rented it with this hopping King Penis and it was really cute. And we watched Sex Caliber in super 3D.
That's a good movie. Actually it was very stupid. That's a Bill Margold movie.
Yes it is. I've actually seen it in 3D.
I've got to tell him I saw it. And I forgot the other one. And I forgot the other one. I picked up a few pointers. I learned to fake it for a few years with a guy, so it worked well.
Let's talk about music for a second.
Ah, music yes.
What kind of music gets you like . . . . pumpin?
You could probably answer these for me.
Yea, well I know I could but . . . . you told me one time that the greatest song ever written . . . .
Maggie May. Rod Stewart.
Why do you think that?
Well first of all I love Rod Stewart.
I love his voice.
Only because of his voice?
Well, he is fine too. He still looks good for his age. I think he's attractive, he has a great voice. I like his songs. Even his cheesy, "Do you think I'm Sexy?" songs are pretty fun. Who doesn't like Young Turks, I mean that's a pretty cool kind a song. Maggie May is kind of personal thing. It makes me happy, I associate it with some very good times growing up with my mom. It was just a very peaceful time in my life so when I hear it it is a very calming effect and I love the song. I love almost all music in general. I wish I was musically inclined. I can not sing to save my life. I have no patience to learn to play anything but it is such a beautiful thing, it can conjure up so many different emotions and everything in my live just about has some song that you can relate to. "Oh, this song reminds me of you know that person I dated back then, or this song reminds me of this part of my life."
What does Closer remind you of?
Fucking, just hard core fucking. Nine Inch Nails is just an incredible band. They truly are. . . . just has so much passion for his music on stage and everything. It's a very passionate music. I love all music. I like old rock, like I like Rod Stewart and Elton John and stuff like that. The Eagles, you know. I love old stuff like Bowie and stuff like that.
You know what was so funny? Is like when we were at the that show you were sitting there the whole time and the guy in front of us didn't even turn around one time but as soon as they started playing Closer and you got up and you were totally fucking and grooving out the guy was totally "Hey lady, what's up?" That was very funny.
Yea, yea. That takes us back to that whole male thing I was talking about earlier. Yea , music is great. I love music. I love KROQ is a radio station down here in Los Angeles that plays great music.
You're thinking this is going anywhere but Los Angeles.
Well then, I'm an avid KROQ listener.
No I'm only kidding.
I love '70s music. I love to get on my bell bottoms and go out and dance to it, disco. Disco, love dancing disco. It's the best workout because every song is fun. It's totally cheesy.
Let me ask you a question. Did you know that the Village People were gay when you were a kid?
Cause I didn't know that.
My mom told me that.
I was way into the Village People and I didn't know that they were gay. I had the poster that came in the album that was one of each one of them and it was like long and folded up. I had it in my room, the guy who was the biker was so cool.
You had the Village People and Adam Ant up on your wall.
I know, isn't that like so bizarre? I also had the Misfits and the Cramps and shit like that too.
It was fun music, it didn't have much heart to it but it was fin and its a great workout when you dance to it I love soul in dance music. I get into Snoop Dog sometimes. I have . . . . I can tolerate a little bit of country. I love reggae. I love stuff with a good beat.
So your just an all around party girl.
I just admire anyone that can put out some good music. To me I think that's truly and art and something I wish I could do.
Let me ask you another question. Okay, when you go out in your normal life, you're not Shelby Stevens the porn star, you're just yourself. And you dress up whatever way you dress up and you're going in the movies or something. Every guy that walks past like totally with his girlfriend and turns around and stares at you. And then his girlfriend hits him on the arm and goes, "Oh that bitch." Cause I know you've been in line and you've herd people say shit about you. Is that Pamela Anderson? What goes through your mind when that kind of shit happens? Do you ever get that, "Yea I got it" or "I wish they would just leave me alone" vibe?
It depends on the date. Usually if I'm going out with just me, I'm not that dressed up and I'm not all done up.
Yea, but you make the most of what you have though.
Well after this interview you and I are gonna go out looking like this. No one is going to look at me.
That's not necessarily true.
If I'm dressed up and I know I look good. Like if I feel like going out to dinner and I want to dress up and look pretty, make an effort to put some makeup on, brush the hair and actually put something on that kind of shows the body well if you're a women especially a women with boobs any women is going to get attention when you put on makeup and try to look nice. If someone is going to say that, I guess it just depends on the response. If a guy is looking at you whatever is nice, its flattering, if a guy is a jerk about it then it pisses me off just because there's no need to be disrespectful. It's just as easy to tell a woman you look very nice tonight then just to say, "Hey nice tits." They get a much better response. It does bother me the most when women get weird about it. If a couple women are out and and they have something sarcastic to say to me an if I'm not doing anything wrong I just think they're jealous or they have a low self esteem, fuck em!! I really don't care. It really bothers me if a couple are out and the gut will stop and look, cause I think it's disrespectful to who he's with. I think women are kind of placed against one another enough. Who has better tits, who's hair is blonder, whatever. There's so much competitiveness that people put on women just in general that bothers me. That person would be so disrespectful to the person they're with. But yea, if you have a drink in me and I'm at a club and I'm dancing and people are looking at me I mean I can't lie, its kind of nice. You can get a little cocky. That doesn't always happen you know its nice. It bothers me more when I'm grocery shopping at two in the morning in sweats and they'll make a . . . . and someone will come up and harasses you, or when you are at the gym trying to work out. Go pick up the girl in the matching T-Back leotard with her full head of curls and makeup on. She's there to get picked up on. Don't pick up on me when I'm looking like shit when I'm trying to work out. That's the time it really bothers me.
Okay, back to when you were single and available and going to clubs.
I was a total bitch.
I don't do good at clubs. When I'm single, I'm not a good person. I don't like the whole meat market aspect of it. Unfortunately, its really rare for a guy to come up and say, "excuse me, would you like to dance?" or, "you really look nice tonight," just to give you a nice compliment. Most time when you go to clubs the guys are drunk and they come up and they try grabbing you or literally dragging you out on the dance floor and they're very disrespectful. That pisses me off and puts me in a bad mood. So I don't have fun. When I'm with someone, if I'm in a relationship I'm not there to meet anybody I'm just out to have fun with my girlfriends or with my boyfriend. I don't have to deal with that realm.
What approach works?
Direct but respectful. When I'm single and I see a guy who I think is attractive, I'll go up and introduce myself and say hi, be polite. I think guys feel they have to be a little too macho then they really do. I cannot stress enough how much father ahead a guy would get with most women if they were just honest and polite. I love dancing. If a guy comes up to me and I feel like dancing, I'll dance with him. I've danced with every race, every size, every color. I don't care, because I like to dance. That takes a lot of courage to go up to a stranger and say, "excuse me would you like to dance?" It does and if they're nice and respectful I will go out and dance with them. It's not like we're having sex, we're dancing and having fun. But if someone comes up being a jerk, talking to you tits you're not going to get anywhere.
Does that really happen?
Women I like to work with.
Women you like to work with. Okay.
No, we don't have to. Well this is your thing.
Well no if you want to . . . . .
No, I don't care.
Okay, talk about the women you like to work with.
No, its okay. What do you want to know? Is this done? You're going to cut some of this.
Cut it, what are you talking about. Of course not.
Yea, but I mean we rambled on a bit.
So, you ramble. Big deal. That's life, right.
Yea, well you're not putting this in are you?
I don't know maybe.
Then I'm not gonna talk to you anymore.
WHAT!! Okay, then I just won't put this in.
Kay, I'm being mean now. No.
Why is it important for you to acknowledge women you work with?
Why is it important.
Because . . . .
Because there special?
Really because there's a lot of girls in the business.
There's so many you don't like working with that you'd like to give cudos to the ones you do.
No, that's not true. There's only a couple of girls in the business that I do not like.
Oh, like who? No I'm just kidding.
I don't mind they know I don't like them. I'm a very honest person, I could care less. People I don't like know I don't like them and people I do, do. There are just so many girls in the business I really appreciate that ones that are real. The ones that go in and put in good scenes ar very nice and aren't prissy or pre maddonas and just have fun with it.
Let me ask you a really good question. Do you think that you have changed since you got into the business?
Oh yea, in certain ways and not in others. My whole sexuality is different definitely changed. The way I see myself on film is completely different. As a person who I am basically feel I've stayed the same. I don't feel like I've changed that much. Fortunately, stardom, I say with a joke, tends to change a lot of girls, making a lot of big egos.
I see that all the time.
I really hope that people don't see me that way. I really don't think I fall into that category and if I do I'm really sad about that cause I try not to. What was the question?
Do you think you've changed?
Yea, I've changed because when you first come into the business you don't really know what to expect. You're given advice by a lot of people. First of all this isn't like starting a gob like a secretary, this is sex, this is like gettin to know people in the most intimate ways, working with women I've never worked with, its a lot to deal with at first. Then there's people telling you you got to do this and you got to do that. You're just told a lot and so that's what you go by. But as in any job or any career the more you do it the more you make you own standards and you realize you don't have to do this. you don't have to be one of the girls who'll stop the scene in the middle of it because your lipstick smeared or your makeup in not looking perfect. I used to be so concerned about that because I was so worried about what do I look like. Is my makeup fucked up? I'm fucking. I get really disappointed now if I see a porno and a girl starts in with makeup and you look at her and she still has lipstick on. If I come out of a scene with my lipstick intact and my makeup looking perfectly, I'm not doing my job. Obviously you want to look good but you and you actually want to have fun. If you're worrying so much about your hair and makeup I don't see how you could possibly be into what your doing. That's one thing I don't worry about anymore. I try to take care of how I look I try to take care of my body but women's bodies tend to get pudgy around the hips and area. We're not all perfect. I'm not liposuctioned out. I can't sit and worry about, Oh, I can't get into this position because I might look a little fat. I don't care. Hopefully, people who are watching me are watching me to have fun having a good sex scene and they can understand that everybody is not perfect. I've actually had girls tell me please don't put me in this position because you can see my cellulite in this position. Nobody wants to care about that. They wand to see people having sex and enjoying themselves.
How do you feel about people masturbating to you and having you as a fantasy?
I love it. I love it. That's one of my favorite things.
Let me ask you a question though. Do you realize that most of these guys you probably never give the time of day to in real life.
Oh, what do you mean?
A lot of the guys use adult movies as their sex life. Because for whatever reason be it that their fat, smelly, receding hairline or for whatever reason they don't have relationships. Adult movies are their sex life, that's how they release.
I still think its great. As you say, I might not give these people the time of day.
That is not necessarily a true statement.
I don't expect every guy jacking off to my movies to look like Mel Gibson. We're real people. I feel honored if someone finds me sexually stimulating that to . . . . . want to jack off to. There are a lot of girls doing movies and for someone to dig me I think that's great. That's another thing that turns me on because I'd much rather have a person be at home and take care of themselves or with a couple then say if a guy didn't have that what else would he have? Maybe magazines, or maybe he'd go out to a hooker and take the chance of catching something or maybe he has a mental problem.
Low self esteem.
Maybe he's out gettin drunk. There's the date rape, there's so much that could happen. I would hope that someone if they were going to stay home and practice safe sex it would be with me, in a round about sort of way.
Do you think that the other girls in this business give a shit or understand that? Do you think that they really understand why their doing this and where this is going to?
I think the good ones do. There are a lot of girls that fully are aware of it. Those are the girls I like to work with. I got in the business honestly for the money. I thought I could come in and fuck my boyfriend and make good money. But the longer I'm in its become something I enjoy and the money's great and all, I'm not going to lie and say I don't like making money, to have sex with my boyfriend and other women, I think its great. But if I was just in it for the money I would be doing a lot more. I turn down a lot of money to work with guys or to do this or that. I enjoy what I do and I enjoy the fact that I think it helps people. Recently the Fox Awards, I had three different sets of couples come up to me "Shelby, we just watched you in such and such and we love you. It helps their sexuality. The single guys, even the single women. I'm so different now in my viewpoints of my sexuality, like I said from a lot of deep imbedded sexual things from the molestation as a child it cause a lot of problems. I've had a lot of weireded out ideas. Now I see things differently. This business has helped me personally. If I can do something to help other people to show them that sex is a wonderful thing if it is between consenting adults that choose to have sex with each other. It's a good thing. I hope we can help do that. A lot of girls in the business feel the same way, they enjoy being a part of it. We would hope that maybe it brings about a turnabout in peoples awareness and maybe it will become less taboo and socially more exceptable. People will loosen up a little bit and not be so ashamed about their little quirks or likes or dislikes. I like that and think it's great. Obviously there are girls in the business who are just in it for the money and they can give a fuck about why their doing it and they don't think about the actual aspect of what they are doing. Unfortunately I think a lot of fans are going to know that too because I try to talk to as many people as I can that come up and talk to me. Hopefully when I go on the road I hope people that watch me will come up and talk to me and tell me, Oh I was this or this helped e in this way or whatever. A lot of girls that are in it just for the money, yea, right here I'll sign this for you. See ya. They don't want to be bothered by their fans. I think its kind of nice to know that you're actually doing something for a reason. It's not brainsurgery or anything but it can be cool. In my own little way I'm kind of like a little Dr. Ruth. In a much different way, but . . . . .
Do you believe in God?
Oh wow!! Do I believe in God? I'm not sure. I believe in spirituality, I believe there's good and evil. I believe there's a very positive forces in life and very negative and everybody's kind of in a constant struggle with it. I really believe you can find a path to happiness be it God or whatever. I think if you strive for it and you look past a lot of the everyday bullshit, there is good and you can follow to that and that's something I'm trying to strive for it and its hard. There's also, i know if evil's too hard a term, but there's a lot of bad . . . .So God? I don't know. It's a hard question.
What brings you total happiness like completely content? Have you ever been completely content? Or better yet have you ever been experienced?
I don't think I've ever found complete total happiness. There are a lot of things that make me happy, that are kind of silly things to most people.
Like raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens.
you know that sounds really stupid by kind of along those lines. To me people . . . . its hard in this society not to look out for what we can get. Persons with the most toys are status and money. But I really don't think that's what were here for. I don't believe that we were all set on this earth to see who can make the most money. I think there's so much if we would just take the time to look at what is truly beautiful. If I get stressed I drive up to the hill on Mulholland. I love this. I think it is so peaceful just to see the beautiful lights. It's really pretty. Rainbows. Rainbows are just amazing, a beautiful thing in L.A. That's such a rare thing to find that's real. There's really a lot of beautiful things if you would just take the time to look. If you just slow down and look. It's for free. You don't have to pay to see springtime. I was just in Palm Springs, I was sittin at the Ritz Carlton having brunch. That was kind of expensive, I didn't pay for that. They have this garden that have the most beautiful flowers in it and everybody taking about th9is business and that business, but wow, look at the flowers. There the most vibrant, beautiful colors. There kind of like the tulips you got there. Beautiful, you know. That's good, that's truly a good thing. We all have so many people that come and go in our lives but true friends, that's a wonderful thing. I think the relationships we have with people and the things we try to achieve in life are so much more important than the money we make. I think if you get back to that. A long time ago it wasn't like that. Everybody was so much more spiritual, by not really God, into being happy with each other and nature and life. You had a lot of each other and nature and life. You had a lot of falsities and a lot of what we believed in got crashed and we all started looking for something and then came money . . . . . . . it really is, its a great thing I'm not going to talk shit about it. You're probably thinking, what the hell is she talking about.
Speaking of rambling. What do you think about piercing and tattoos?
I think its great, if its for the person.
I mean in reference to you.
I like piercing. I've come close to getting piercings. Well then again I guess it comes back to money though, what I was just talking about. In this business we are supposed to be . . . . . our image. We want the girls to look pretty and a lot of people don't like piercings and they feel its going to alienate people if they put me on the box cover if I have my eyebrow pierced or my clit pierced.
That's what you wanted to get pierced? Your eyebrow.
I found a tiny little gold hoop right on the arch, which I think is so sexy. If its done right, its not like this big old round ring hanging our there or at the hood of the clit. Piercings and tatooinig its been a form of art for centuries.
If you got a tattoo what would you get and where would you get it?
I've had two tattooes that I've wanted since I was about fifteen.
I thought you were going to drop a bombshell and say you have two tattooes. What!!
Where, I've seen everywhere.
I've seen places on you that you've never seen. Nevermind, go ahead.
One was a people have always commented on my mouth. I had a lipprint done of my mouth that looked really cool and I was going to have that with two little vampire teeth coming down from it with a little droplet of blood . . . . through. I thought it was pretty cool.
I've never decided on the spot. That's one of the main deterrents. Where should you put it that you'd e happy for the rest of your life? That's the big thing. I have another one that's a little more personal that would take a long lengthy story and since I have been rambling I won't tell you.
Don't give me that shit. I'd tell you I'd have to explain it and it would take forever and you'd be like shut up.
Alright. Anything else? Okay who are the fuck girls you like working with?
I thought you didn't want to know.
I never said that.
Oh who do I like working with? Um Kaitlyn Ashley is a wonderful girl. I love working with Kaitlyn
She is. I shot her when she first started. Now she won't even give me the time of day.
Well, I'm sorry you don't get along with her. This is my interview, these are my girls.
Okay, go ahead.
I like having sex with Anna Malle.
Oh, she's a bimbo too, no . . . . . . just kidding.
Oh, she's really fun. I'm looking forward to working with Felicia. I get to have fun with her for the first time on Thursday. Bunny Blue is fun, she's crazy, she's really fun. There's a lot of girls. Misty Rain is great. Danielle Cheeks is really good. I would like to work with her more.
Who do you want to work with that you never have?
Felicia. I want to work with Celeste. I hear she's nice and nasty.
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