the ONION * 4 June 1997

Above: Outraged citizens of Pleasant, NC, are banding together in protest of a pornographic video that they say is a far cry from the "Two-Hour, Wall-2-Wall, Deep-Probing, Ass-Flesh Fuck-Fest" promised on its box.

      PLEASANT, NC--Outraged community members are mounting an aggressive public protest campaign this week in response to an X-rated videotape availiable at Pleasant's Video Villa video store, claiming that the tape does not contain the "Spectacular All-Anal Action" promised on its cover.

      "Are we as citizens expected to just sit back and allow this sort of garbage to go on?" said Pleasant school board president Edwin Thistlewaite, during a protest this morning at City Hall. "I paid to see chicks getting fucked in the ass, and that's what I want. I think I speak for all decent Americans in saying so."

      "This is false advertising, plain and simple," agreed area resident and mother of two Janice Ferguson, speaking before an assembled crowd of more than 1,500. "My husband and I have both viewed this piece of trash, and believe me, it barely even shows bush until at least 20 minutes in--a far cry indeed from the 'Non-Stop Carnal Cum-ucopia' advertised on the box."

      Over shouts of agreement from the crowd, she added: "Is this the sort of hardcore pornography we want to see in our homes? I think not! I say the people of Midvale County deserve better!"

      Though the controversial film, Butt-Fuck Sluts Go Nuts Vol. 29, does contain some graphic depictions of anal intercourse, the citizens' group asserts that the film does not even come close to living up to the box's claim that it is a "Two-Hour, Wall-2-Wall, Deep-Probing, Ass-Flesh Fuck-Fest." The group is demanding the inclusion of drastically more explicit prurient material before it will back down.

      "I rely on tapes like this every day to provide me with the vicarious, onanistic anal thrills I crave," area dentist and anal-pornography enthusiast Dr. Gus Ferbacher told reporters. "I stroked myself for over an hour, and I barely even got it up once. Where's the stuff I can really pump my meat over: the double penetrations, the all-lesbian strap-on dildoing, the spread-eagled, six-finger bend-overs? That's what I want to know."

      Parents' groups from throughout the state are echoing the local protesters' complaints. Said Sandra Hamm, director of the Center For The Family in nearby Plovis: "There are, what, eight or nine chicks in this movie and maybe two of them take it in the ass, tops," Hamm said. "That's utterly unacceptable."

      Pleasant resident Charlotte Kendall voiced her concerns at a town meeting held Monday night in the basement of Holy Christ Almighty Lutheran Church. "If we can't trust the manufacturers of hardcore pornography to tell us truthfully what kind of explicit sex we can honestly expect to see, then who can we trust?" Kendall said.

      Though legal scholars say that objectionable material has proven difficult to legally prosecute in the past, they believe that this time the protesters may have a case.

      "The videotape is clearly inferior to comparable releases, not only in the tame, unexciting way the sex acts are performed, but in that the performers themselves are not particlarly good-looking," University of Chicago law school dean and noted censorship expert Henry Lattimore said. Pointing to a nearby television monitor displaying a scene from the video in question depicting two women shaving each other's pubic regions, Lattimore said, "Just look at these chicks. They're not hot at all."

      Even more critical of the tape is North Carolina Fifth Circuit Judge Roy A. Beers. According to Beers, though some scenes do depict what is obviously rear-entry, or "doggie"-type intercourse, it is unclear whether the penetrations are in fact anal or merely vaginal. "Without tight, close-up insertion shots of lubed-up, slippery cock actually pumping the rectal opening, we cannot be 100 percent certain whether these scenes constitute legitimate butt-reaming or simply an attempt to pass off standard, vaginal fucking as that of the butt-reaming variety," an opinion paper submitted by Beers to the North Carolina Supreme Court read.

      Lawyers representing Video Villa defended the tape's content. "Young, eager sluts are clearly visible spreading their hot, wet pussies and bungholes," attorney Leslie MacKinnon said. "Furthermore, throughout the course of the video, interracial lesbian three-ways; solo female masturbation; and penetration with a variety of dildos and vibratory devices are all well represented. In view of these facts, my client feels that his customers are getting their three dollars' worth."

the ONION * 4 June 1997

© Copyright 1997 Onion, Inc., All Rights Reserved. Click here for more information.
Technical questions/comments? Contact Tech Support
Editorial questions/comments? Contact Editorial
Advertising/Sponsorship inquiries? Contact Business