rame.net  :  humor  :   luckiest guy in the world

From: ridley99@aol.com (Ridley99)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.movies.erotica
Subject: is Ron Jeremy the luckiest man who ever lived?
Date: Wed, 12 Jan 2000 13:22:46

Think about this for a second. Of all the billions of men who ever lived , is Ron Jeremy the luckiest.

First of all he gets points like we all do for being alive at this time in history. No Wars, big screen Tvs, internet, birth control pills, viagra etc. The average man today lives a life ten times better than the royalty of past generations.

Think about this, He is a homely man, a nebbish with no style or class. You can almost imagine what the inside of his car looks like. Candy wrappers and soda cans on the floor etc. In short- a slob and yet he is a man possessed of an almost uncontrollable sexual appetite, If he had never gotten into porn he probably would have begged for dates, girls would have laughed in his face,He would have spent Fridays night alone, horny as hell, sucking on his own dick, as pathetic an individual who has ever lived. maybe his uncontrollable sexual urges would have gotten the best of him ,who knows what could have happened;but Ron is not an ordinary man , he is the luckiest man alive.

Somehow he got into porn, who knows how - I figure it was a deal with the devil - his ten inch sausage and ever-ready hard -on kept him busy night and day in the late 1970s .

Ron was in the right place at the right time.Front and center,both in front and behind the camera as the porn industry exploded going from film to video, Rons hard-on was in constant demand. Before Viagra, porn producers searched for consciousless bastards with tetestorone running wild. So many men either failed under pressure or came too soon that when they got men like Ron who could literrally do circus tricks with his dick and was always on go, they used him continously.

So Ron a proven commodity came of age when the porn industry was growing by leaps and bounds. If Ron had come of age in the 50s and 60s when repressivre social taboos ruled and a fuck film could get you locked up or in the late 90s when Viagra turned even the lamest dick into superman he would have been shit out of luck.

But Ron came into his prime in the late 1970s. And when Video turned southern California into the worlds biggest whore house Ron was ready. Beautiful young girls came streaming in from all over the country, one by one they all found thier way to Rons dick. Ron became the living audition. He took countless screen cherries. Christy Canyon did her first scene with him. Christy recounted the experience " Ron forced his dick deeper into my mouth " christy you have to take it deeper ' he told me "

In the late 70s early 80s Ron made money as a stand in dick, when the handsome face in the scene couldn't get his dick up Ron just jumped right in. Many times a girl would come in with a boyfriend and when the dude couldn't get it up, it was up to Ron and the director to talk the girl into continuing the scene with Ron. I read a interview in the magazine 'Scream queens' where a famous and beautiful actress talks about just such a hardball tactic laid on her. Ron tried to pressure her into going through with the scene but she said hell no and got the hell out of there. How many said yes.

Ron was busy on the screen and off. Using wit and total lack of conscious he fucked juist as many girls off the set as he did on. Jery Butler writes that Ron fucked Sharon Mitchell when she was passed out from booze and another girl on the set of Bad girls who was in a similar condition ( maybe it was Ann Ventura )

Ron's favorite trick was to show girls how he could suck his own dick but of cause the girls had to help him get his dick hard. Back then when drugs went with the scenery scoring sex with starlets high on drugs must have been easy for Ron.

This was Rons life in the 1980s, while the rest of the country fought its way out of a recession. Ron fucked all the cuties that made up the golden age of porn.he fucked the whole roster. From Tracy Lords to Ginger Lynn he fucked them all, he was also directing the famous two a-days- two movies in one day, so as director he got the first crack at all the best new pussy. In this position he fucked many of the pretty young things who stuck a toe in porn and found it not to thier liking.

Rons favorite trick was to fuck a girl , cum, then stick his dick back in the girls pussy and get in a few more strokes.

The Berlin Wall fell and a new decade loomed but Rons deal with the devil was still in full force even if Stalin's was running out. He was working over time. He was now famous the most famous male porn star since " the Wadd " unlike Holmes though, Ron was addicted to Pizza not drugs. Ron's libido knew no bounds even after a day of fucking on film he would show up at the doorstep of porn actresses and beg,borrow or steal a fuck.

This was the life of Ron Jeremy as the 90s progressed , living out in beautiful California but escorting his dick all over the world.

In the 90s porn became rougher, nastier. Gangbangs and Anal were the rule of the day. Ron ,the human cock-a-roach that he is evolved with the times. He volunteered for every gangbang. his tremendous dick control had always made him the king of anal anyway.

Having fucked nearly 20,000 girls, age was catching up to Ron, more and more it seemed he had to literrally strangle his dick to keep a hard. And then just when it seemed Ron was on the way out a miracle drug was developed - Viagra. Rons incredible luck had struck again.

20 years of non-stop fucking on and off camera and Ron has never contracted a STD, he is immune to Aids, he doesn't get sick even though he is badly out of shape. He continues to be the luckiest Man alive.A combination between the highlander and a cock-a-roach

You might say Hugh Hefner is just as lucky, but Hefner founded Playboy- he started a business empire and his wealth and his position has kept him in pussy, Ron is not rich,nor is he talented in any other way other then his hard-on and his sense of humour.

Ron is in fact the luckiest Man who has ever lived. He lives a life outside the ordinary problems that beset us all. No Nagging wife, no kids to worry about ,no obligations or responcibilities, he is as free as the wind, he wakes each morning to a world reborn. He hasbeen blessed with a lack of conscious or guilt, he is like a pussy shark, he lives only to fuck, he has no morals or scruples, he is so deep in sin that it would be foolish to grow a conscious now.

He lives today at the dawn of the Millineum, fucking girls who weren't even born when he began his career, fat and happy. His deal with the devil will come due one day and a new generation of hard dicks made brave by Viagra threatens his future but Ron will survive, he'll evolve, become an agent or a director or something.He'll always find a way to get pussy.

Just this year he did a reverse gangbang with 13 girls, all the girls in it were young and beautiful, His dick was never harder.

While the rest of us go to our jobs and have our souls sucked from us day after day, Ron is out there probably shacking up with some naive 19 year old,or taking part in a gang bang or fucking some female fan ( for money). He is the human cock-a-roach he will out live us all.

My favorite image of Ron is from a reverse gangbang he did with 5 girls, while going form one to the other with all the girls in the doggy position, he pauses a second, looks skyward and blows a kiss to heaven, somewhere the devil was laughing.

 

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