rame.net  :  humor  :   ape named ape

From: Matt Marin <misterniceguy@my-deja.com>
Subject: TV Highlights
Newsgroups: rec.arts.movies.erotica
Date: Wed, 10 May 2000 12:24:32 GMT

A new cable network has been announced, called American Porn Encore (APE). As a public service, mattmarin.com has put together a listing of highlights from its first day’s schedule:

4:45 AM - STRINGING UP BABY (1938) *** Cary Grant, Katherine Hepburn

A scientist discovers love while cutting off circulation to parts of a dizzy socialite’s body. The fun starts when Grant ties Hepburn to a dinosaur skeleton and uses a hundred million year-old fossil as a dildo on her. Note: the fossil later started its own video series.

10:00 AM – BLONDIE GETS LAID (1946) ** Penny Singleton, Arthur Lake

A series of mixups leads to Dagwood being fired for sodomizing the boss’s wife. The fun starts when Blondie gets revenge by inviting Mr. Dithers and the mailman to double penetrate her on the kitchen floor. Penny Singleton's last film in the series.

2:30 PM – MA AND PA KETTLE OPEN AN ADULT BOOKSTORE (1953) ** &fraq12; Percy Kilbride, Marjorie Main

Newly converted to atheism, the Kettles decide to open a porn shop next to the town church. The fun starts when the pastor and mayor run into each other in the rubber goods section and start a sex-aid fight. Look quick for Richard Nixon’s cameo as a vibrating egg.

6:00 PM – THAT DARN SCAT (1965) * Dean Jones, Kurt Russell

Specialty film, considered daring in its day. College-student Russell is struck by lightning while conducting a physics experiment and suddenly finds that beautiful women are attracted to his bowel movements. Sequel: SCAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF.

10:30 PM – DEEP THROAT IS COMING, DEEP THROAT IS COMING (1971) *** &fraq12; Charlton Heston

Chilling science-fiction tale about a paranoid who has visions of a time when hardcore pornography will be seen on theater, television and computer screens around the world. Famous conclusion features the madman being locked in a rubber room and never heard from again. Alternate title: THE MATT MARIN STORY.

The Frenzy of the Risible

Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.


Newsgroup problems: e-mail rame-request@linux-shell.net.
Website problems: e-mail webmaster@rame.net

Questions about adult movies should be posted or mailed to the newsgroup rec.arts.movies.erotica. The staff at the above addresses cannot answer your questions; the folks in the newsgroup probably can.